They're Random, Baby!

Reach Radio Transmissions Holdout
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ONE: So, uh...

TWO: Come on, spit it out.

ONE: You, uh, got a zombie plan?

TWO: Hell yeah.

ONE: Yeah? Maybe we could exchange notes.

TWO: Well, uh, I dunno man. Zombie plans are kinda... deeply personal thing with me.

ONE: Oh I understand, it's just, I find that saying them out loud, you know, getting 'em out in the open really helps reveal any flaws they might have.

TWO: Yeah, makes sense.

ONE: Okay.

TWO: Alright. So, zombies can still hear and stuff, so that makes guns a weapon of last resort, right?

ONE: Yeah, yeah, solid so far, ammo, too.

TWO: Exactly. So I was thinking that, what is a weapon that'll keep them out of grabbing range, AND won't run out of ammo? A spear.

ONE: Hold up. Now, see, this is workin' already.

TWO: Huh?

ONE: Spear! I thought so too at one time, but the possibility of getting it stuck in the brainpan of a walking corpse is very real.

TWO: Oh yeah, you're right. Man, I hadn't thought about that. Well, uh...

ONE: Ball-peen hammer.

TWO: But, you'd have to get right up on top of the zombie to use it, man.

ONE: Yeah, survival ain't about running around killing zombies man. Plus, a single sharp blow to the head would drop most zombies. It'll work on cheetahs, too.

TWO: What the... There ain't cheetahs on Reach. Anyway, we should probably be working the kinks out of our alien invasion plan first. Aliens are smarter, faster, and more technically advanced than zombies. They're also here. Zombies, not so much.

ONE: What I tell ya? Reach ain't no place for no self-respecting Marine to spend any amount of time.

TWO: Hey, we ain't in the Autumn yet, pal.