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Fan Fiction

Halo Songs
Posted By: Gasmask
Date: 15 January 2003, 4:39 am

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Note! These are all parodies!

The Tale of Master Chief
(To the tune of "The Beverly Hillbillies")

Well, listen to my story 'bout a man named Chief,
Poor Spartan soldier, brought the Covies all to grief,
Then one day he was shootin' on a ring,
And up from the ground come a horrible thing!

(Flood, that is. The creepy storm. Tan menace.)

Well, first thing you know, old Chief's up in the air,
Soldier's all say, "Chief, get away from there!"
They said, "Lost in space is the place for guys like you!"
So he loaded up his gun, and went in a nebulu!

(To the tune of the "Flintstones")

Covies! Meet the covies! They're the modern alien family!
From the town of WhoKnows? They're a page right out of legacy!
Someday, maybe earth will win the fight!
Then the covies will stay out all the night!
When you're with the covies, you'll have a blam blam, you'll have a blam blam, then have a ugh splat time!

Covenant Paradise
(Tune of Gangster Paradise, parody of Amish Paradise)

As I walk through the planet where I kill my en'mies
I take a look at my sarge and get the heebee jebees
But that's just fine for a grunt like me
I'm here to wipe out all of human history
At 4: 30 in the morning I'm eatin' chow,
Straight out of a food nipple, and, man, how! Fool!
And I've been eatin' and killin' so long
Even other grunts think my mind is gone!
I'm a man in a band, I'm into killin' stuff
Got a pistol in my hand, and I'm tryin' to look buff.
And if I get all of my kills, and you get thine,
Tonight we're gonna party like it's 5899!

We been spending most our lives living in a Cov'nant paradise!
We kill humans once or twice, living in a Cov'nant paradise!
We all fight, we don't play nice, living in a Cov'nant paradise!
There's nothing bland, it is all spice, living in a Cov'nant paradise!

A local kid shot me in the butt last week,
So I shot him back, and his corpse did start to reek
I really don't care, I really shot him well
And I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burning in...well...
You know I never spread a rumor even if I have heard it
If one comes to me, I just say, "Man, word! It
Really is a bummer to be spreadin' lies,
So shape up or I will throw your brie cheese to the flies!"

Puttin' up the shade, using lots of plasma,
Risin in a dropship, it feels like the slamma !
Think you're really bad, man?
Think you've got it cut?
'Cuz man, if you aren't, I'll be gettin' on your butt!
I'm the coolest guy the little grunties wanna be like
On my feet day and night, scoring points in every fight!
So don't be sweet, and don't be prissy!
Or I'll have to take away the phone for the weekend, missy!