They're Random, Baby!

Guess you had to be there to appreciate the humor
Posted By: Skavenger Date: 8/23/03 5:08 p.m.

So there I was dominating the local LAN of 10 year olds at Lava Ridge elementary, when one asked me a question.

Jimmy: "Why don't they make a Halo movie?"

I stuttered with ramblings of "It's complicated... their isn't enough interest..." bla bla bla. I made it sound good though.

He thought to himself for awhile with a little disappointment on his face, then said...

Jimmy: "Well, they made a movie of Mortal Kombat? The movie freaking' sucked, and the game blows ass compared to Halo.

My eyes got real wide

Jimmy's Mom: "JIMMY! I don't ever want you to say things like that again! You see what this game has done to your mouth!"

Me: "Ma'am, He didn't learn that language from anything related to Halo. Halo doesn't use that sort of language and I personally hope they never do. I believe that janitor who just walked by might have said something along those lines."

I looked at her out of the corner of my eye, and her cross look let me know she didn't believe me.

Jimmy: "I didn't hear the janitor say that! I heard it from YOU! You said that, 'The sniper rifle freaking sucks', and then you said, 'Boarding Action blows ass'".

Me: "He he he (with his mother drawing near) No son, I said 'Your good with that sniper rifle...your really causing' a ruckus.' He he he "

Jimmy's Mom: "So he learned it from you! I knew Halo was bad!"

Me: "What? I am not Halo; I have nothing to do with Halo. I don't even have anything to do with Bungie period!"

She was angrily gathering up Jimmy and heading for the parking lot.

Me: (following them) Bungie hates me, they won't return my calls either. Don't blame them please!

Following her out to the car.

Jimmy's Mom: "He is done with Halo, and that stupid web site of yours where all they do is talk about Halo, ruin kids Xboxes, and make them spend hours looking for things that don't exist. They are all liars and hurtful people there!!!"

Me: "WAIT! That isn't my site. I don't even go there anymore, and those guys who lie and deceive the innocent newcomers... Well, ma'am, that makes me madder than a hornets nest in a rainstorm!"

She paused.

Me: "You see, that's why I come to these events and play with the young children. I feel it is my responsibility to help protect them against the people who would do them harm and be those people you and I hate so much."

Jimmy's Mom: "I'm sorry, I guess I should thank you. My son loves to play Halo, I just don't want him corrupted"

Me: "Apology accepted. Just for the record, that site is called HBO, and is not mine. The guy who runs it won't even use his real name there. They don't even like me there, mostly because I am the lone voice of reason that tries to keep fairness and honesty in every thread. Now, may Jimmy join us for more gaming?"

Jimmy's Mom: "Of course.... run along Jimmy, and have a nice time."

We sat back down to play. The other kids drew away from the glass where they had been watching it all unfold.

Gary: "Dude, I thought you were sooooo going to go home with an F**king ass kicking!"

Bob: "Good thing Skav was there to save your punk ass!"

Jeff: "No doubt, you had your balls in a sling and your mom had the knife out!"

Jimmy:" Well Skav, I say you spot me 10 kills or I tell her how full of shit you are and she kicks your ass?"

The same came from the whole group.

Me: "How about this? You all spot me some kills, and go get me lunch or I tell her and all your parents myself how full of shit I am and YOU ALL GO HOME WITH NO MORE HALO 'till your each 22 years old... ha ha ha ha!!

The whole room filled with laughter and praise...all except for Jimmy's mom who had walked back in and heard everything.


P.S."Don't start a new thread!"

Back to Index | Original Post