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Comments for 'Athenians-II Chapter 6: Battle for M-2568 Part 2'

MC's Cousin
12:09 pm | February 12, 2004
One word: choppy. I think I liked the story but all those separated sentances made for difficult reading. All I saw was a good description, not a story. Even in first person you MUST connect all the small details and big details together, or stories don't flow. Try working on that.

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