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Fan Fiction

Comments for 'Defection: Part 1'

The Writer
12:43 am | September 3, 2003
The new defection will be out soon, ( as in the next update), so huzzah all and merry whatnot thanks for all the advice and I promise that # 3 will hold all the secrets off Toolmeth's defection. ( it's about a very tragic love story in which Toolmeth kinda loses his devotion) so goodnight, all
11:42 am | September 2, 2003
7:45 PM | September 1, 2003
Pretty good except elites aren't like that, they are afterall on the most if not the most devoted fanatics to the covenant cause. I truly doubt that an elite would feel any simpathy for a human.
11:40 am | September 2, 2003
I really like the story, I'd have to agree with Hornet though, it lacked beefyness. Add that and it will be a superb story.
Alpha Lance
6:52 pm | August 31, 2003
Damn that person.
The Writer
3:12 am | August 31, 2003
To:anyone who's waiting for Defection 2, it's been postponed due to the fact that it got deleted in the process of writing ( goes to show you can never let someone else use your computer when you do something important) I would rewrite now, but it's late, i'm tired, and i'm pretty angry at the person who deleted it. Goodnight!
4:53 pm | August 30, 2003
You rushed it too much. A little more time setting up why the Elites felt the torture so horrible that defection was the only choice would have helped out. The new weapon seemed very interesting though. I like the plot, just elaborate more. 8.7/10
1:03 pm | August 30, 2003
Not bad! I found maybe one or two spelling errors, but besides that, it was amazing...you've got potential...i'm looking forward to the next installment! 10/10