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Frightener
6:29 pm | March 25, 2004
I liked the story, but I have one question. Where is the twist? The skull coming back together is good and all, but kinda confusing, but overall, a good story.
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Dirk
2:00 am | September 17, 2003
Nice one, Shat. I don't know much about this subject, but I got the main idea of this one. Keep at it.
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Walker
11:40 am | September 2, 2003
My first response to what you said, MasterGrunt, naturally would be: "You phucking retard! What is the phucking matter with you! Don't you get it?" But, realising how terribly barbarian that would be, I'll explain myself to you rather than yelling a bunch of mindless curses.
What I meant was they blew the Covies to hell with their guns, then mutilated and whacked up their machinery with impact and blade weapons because:
a) It makes the destruction look more gruesome
b) It makes the vigilantes look more primitive
c) It says to invaders: we did this with primitive machinery, so don't mess with us lest we let loose with the big guns.
I didn't explain how Covies could get there and stay there long enough to be killed by vigilantes without the UNSC noticing, but I will now: the vigilantes are on a distant colony, about equal distance from both Earth and the Covenant capital world. So both of us left small groups on the planet. The UNSC left colonists: farmers, small businessmen, etc.--and a few Marines. They left the research team, who was to report back to the Prophets after say a month to determine if the planet was of any strategic value or contained something of value down on the surface, i.e., a precious yet normally useless metal the Covenant knew well enough to make say, starships out of it. But what happened next--which, of course, wasn't according to plan--was that the colonists discovered the research team... and the rest is history.
Is that a plausible explanation? I hope so, but if not, at least know I made it up on the spot.
You might ask why I didn't include that in the story... well, that's because I wanted to keep this story in a mysterious setting. I feel guilty about revealing this much already. so don't bother me about it anymore. And please don't be so quick to compare this to goosebumps... I take that as a great insult. As I said before, this story was written because I felt like writing something weird. And I did.
If that doesn't satisfy you, MasterGrunt, then nothing I can say will. Except, perhaps, this:
The story is the author's world, everything he wishes he was and wishes the universe were, and every dream he has ever had and every hero of his own creation that his has given life to. All these things are put into that precious gift of God: words. Combined they create what you have witnessed today: an epic, a work of art--a story. Whatever happens in it is done within the confines of the author's domain: his own mind.
And so how can we truly judge...? And yet we must.
Semper Fi
-Walker
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PreacherCain
11:36 am | September 2, 2003
Another one from Walker - again, I liked it a lot. There's a good deal to be said for short stories, they're easy to read, quick to digest, and can be great fun. Often a problem their authors suffer is the desire to explain how the situation came about, which can take up a good third of the action. This piece just starts, and stops. Nicely done.
I also like the idea of human-perpetrated brutality and mutilation - after all, this is a war of extermination, and our own history is littered with examples of how people behave in those circumstances. For a start, nobody to my knowledge has explained how we pissed the Covenant off so much in the first place...
So - a nice little imaginative vignette, and I'd love to see more.
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MasterGrunt
11:20 am | September 2, 2003
7:30 PM/ September 1, 2003
THis sounds like some thing out of a goosebumps book. oh and by the way I think your story is to gruesome, I mean the stick through the skull. Humans don't do that and why would the humans or whatever those things are use chainsaws, machetes, and other bizzaro tools when they could use Assualt rifles, shotguns, and other projectile weapons. Besides since when have the humans been able to effortlessly anihalate covenant forces especially using melee weapons. And last of all humans aren't that vicious, not even to covenant. For now just stick to the Grunt Brigade and your previous stories
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Walker
11:06 am | September 2, 2003
stick with Alpha Lance and sign at the bottom
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Alpha Lance: creator of Halo Trilogy
9:00 pm | September 1, 2003
Whooops sorry. Stupid double posting!
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Alpha Lance: creator of Halo Trilogy
8:51 pm | September 1, 2003
I use this name now. How do you like it. Or should
I just stick with Alpha Lance and just put my signiture at the bottom like this.
Alpha Lance: creator of Halo Trilogy
Vote 'A' for the name at the top to use with the copyright sign.
Vote 'B' for the signiture to be at the bottom.
You tell my which is better.
Vote noooowwwww!!! ^_^
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Alpha Lance: creator of Halo Trilogy
8:51 pm | September 1, 2003
I use this name now. How do you like it. Or should
I just stick with Alpha Lance and just put my signiture at the bottom like this.
Alpha Lance: creator of Halo Trilogy
You tell me which is better.
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Alpha Lance: creator of Halo Trilogy
8:51 pm | September 1, 2003
I use this name now. How do you like it. Or should
I just stick with Alpha Lance and just put my signiture at the bottom like this.
Alpha Lance: creator of Halo Trilogy
You tell me which is better.
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Walker
8:31 pm | September 1, 2003
well, it just makes everything seem less modern, not to mention it seems to scream out at you, rather than the subtle verdana font. it hurts my eyes, especially after being used to verdana. please, if anyone can contact Louis Wu or anyone else connected to him, ask them to change HBO back to verdana!
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Alpha Lance
3:32 pm | September 1, 2003
Not me.
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Walker
2:27 pm | September 1, 2003
wow, i actually got a good review from hawk7886. sorry, hawk, there's not going to be a sequel. this was a one time affair. and does anyone else here have a problem with the sudden font change to times new roman?
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Hawk7886
6:48 am | September 1, 2003
Sweet, sweet story. I love stories like this, but I felt like it ended too early! More! More! Make a sequel please!
9.5/10
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Wiley
10:55 pm | August 31, 2003
...
10/10
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Reiyou
7:01 am | August 31, 2003
wow
you don't read something like that every day...
10/10
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Mainevent
12:43 am | August 31, 2003
Very nice. I enjoyed it a lot.
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Elfster
10:46 pm | August 30, 2003
Im guessing it was a single-story thing, but i couldnt tell if it was the Elite's dream, or the base was huanted.
Either way, very good, and very gruesome
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Alpha Lance
6:43 pm | August 30, 2003
And just so you know, 'Jugdement Day' is the name
of a Covenant cruiser.
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Alpha Lance
6:39 pm | August 30, 2003
That was great, 9.8/10. Besides you need some
weird stuff in your fanfic every once in a while.
It make it better.
P.S. Read my storys, 'Halo Trilogy' and I'm going
to work on Chapter II: Destroy the Jugdement Day
(part one) to night, or tomorrow, hopefully.
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Bean
3:48 pm | August 30, 2003
wow that's real good.
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FOrunnER
3:43 pm | August 30, 2003
Huh?............
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hornet34
2:42 pm | August 30, 2003
You're right it is weird, but probably not as much as you think. I really enjoyed this piece, but highly descriptive fanfics that involve realistic characters are hard not to enjoy. Keep up the good work. 9.3/10
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Walker
11:47 am | August 30, 2003
sorry for the weirdness of this piece. i wanted to write something weird, so i did.
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