halo.bungie.org

They're Random, Baby!

Fan Fiction


Comments for 'Rash Decisions-Prologue'



duckfoot
6:32 pm | June 19, 2004
i think this is (pardon the language) fucking amazing. you've got some good ideas, and a good grip of cliffhangars.

The only mistake I could see that was wrong is the 'vile' part. Vial, which i think you mean, generally means like a test tube or something that holds stuff. Vile is an adjective meaning disgusting or something.

10/10, dude
LostRock
2:17 pm | June 18, 2004
Potentially good. Taking in the fact that this is your first story, I'd like to say a few things.

--good job remembering to use THE CODE. Nice use of the breaklines.

--Everyone, especially Hayton, seems a bit too giddy. Try to make the story a bit more serious. ONI is probably one of the most serious places in the Haloverse.

--You haven't told us exactly what the heck this Flood monster looks like!


bungie.org
brr!