halo.bungie.org

They're Random, Baby!

Fan Fiction


Comments for 'The Invasion of the NOOBS (prologue)'



Severian
11:15 am | July 16, 2004
Just submitted the next part, and posted it on the forums...

I'll put all you guys in, although don't expect too much of characterizaion... Just like a one liner, and maybe one thousand kills each. Enough n00bs to go around. :D
someone that you dont know
4:01 am | July 16, 2004
But, you have to be a fan fiction author, and no n00bs.
someone that you dont know
3:59 am | July 16, 2004
Wiley: The forum URL is http://s94962042.onlinehome.us/~rkz/forums/

Its a fan fiction forum, anyone else interested feel free to check it out.
The NEW Zak
2:15 am | July 16, 2004
LOL! I liked how twinkie was commander of thebluemonkey. Oh, and come on! Can't I be cannon fodder at least.(If you do put me in your story, PLEASE don't put me in the nOOb fleet! I will never serve twinkie!)
Wiley
12:14 am | July 16, 2004
What forums? And where are said forums? [/stupid, ignorate n00b voice]
Solidus Snake
12:12 am | July 16, 2004
I'm alive!
Wiley
10:51 pm | July 15, 2004
Can't forget me Sev. i want to be a pilot. Piloting a bad-ass Pelican with big guns all over it. And missiles...cant forget those... oh, and maybe something Napalm-related? mmmm...napalm......

anyway, great story....9/10
DEATH TO ALL n00bs! Fiery, messy DEATH!
someone that you dont know
9:03 pm | July 15, 2004
The noob invasion would make the "Great Depression" of the 1930's look like child's play when compared together.
'Nosolee
8:56 pm | July 15, 2004
The great n00b invasion/depression is quite a fitting title for the HBOFF slump.

Hehe.
Mainevent
8:09 pm | July 15, 2004
Manny=Short Mainevent
Mainevent
8:06 pm | July 15, 2004
High Lord Manny of the Forerunner Army will send support, should you be overrun with n00bdom!
Dave Luck
8:06 pm | July 15, 2004
FINALLY SOMEONE WHO SHARES MY IDEAS!!

Well, I was a newbie at one point. But remember this...

"...Once forever started down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny..."

Hey, I sound like one of those guys from an old sci-fi movie. Hey... That quote was from an old Sci-fi movie! (That is currently being resurrected and restored to its former greatness!)

Yeah, I guess I still am new. But I'm not bad. I used the guidelines on my first-ever fiction, and used proper grammar.

I just wish that it could be possible to destroy n00bs. All we can do is flame, flame, flame and flame again. But they don't improve, they won't go away, and worst of all, they're well out of reach, so you can't stab them in the back with a screwdriver or with the business end of a cordless drill.

And also, I think that n00bs wouldn't hold the chain of command well. When does a n00b not assume that they're the next 'site admin' and not about to be pushed to the lowest spot on the pecking order?

Okay, okay, okay. I know. The n00bs are all despicable. I tell you what. I'll write a short story on how they originated. I like Science. Does that foreshadow for you?

- Dave.
Spacefan
7:30 pm | July 15, 2004
"My sweet God! What the fuck were you doing in school, boy?" This story was way too literate for nOOb-dom...
Frost Bite
4:32 pm | July 15, 2004
Hey guys remember me... the one that accidentally bombarded a fan fic with some really evil commentary... sorry again BTW. Any way I just wanted to get back into the Halo fan scene after a brief respite.

As for the story, quite humorous... I wasn't dying of laughter but it was good.

Further more, everyone starts out as a newbie... unfortunately; some continue on to become NOOBS.

:) Maybe you could add me as a Private with an ice cube fetish... the cold stuff not the rapper (:
Havok
3:12 pm | July 15, 2004
*Takes a pull on his old corncob pipe* ....ah, i remember the first days fo the n00b invasion. it was a sunny spring afternoon. old yeller was playin in the yard with the kids. i went to check the comment on my newly posted story...and the DAMN THING WAS ALREADY ON THE SECOND PAGE!!!
Berconius
2:53 pm | July 15, 2004
Err, well, this MIGHT make the situation worse, but it's really how you look at it. If you consider yourself a n00b, sure, thaten it's bad. But remember, we're laughing at the people like Spanish Spartan who just flame and don't listen to any sort of sense. Not the general body of new people.

Remember, N00b, newb, and newbie are all different in more ways than spelling.
Red Ghost
11:27 am | July 15, 2004
Sir, yes sir! I will quit my gay- ass writing style and go under hard- core training to be more like you, sir! Well, sorry for being part of the nOOb invasion but everyone has to start somewhere. I just submitted a new fan fic. It's called "A Dream". Read that and get back to me.
Mastergrunt
11:00 am | July 15, 2004
WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!! DID YOU JUST SAY SPANISH SPARTAN IS BACK ROMAC? OH GOD SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!!!!!!
Nick Kang
10:17 am | July 15, 2004
[sarcasm]Wow fake sev, your identity is flawless.[/sarcasm]
Hawk7886
8:09 am | July 15, 2004
Have you ever considered content like this is merely helping the current situation?
CoLd BlooDed
4:08 am | July 15, 2004
rofl fake sev, you are quite a loser.
sevrianofuhth
1:14 am | July 15, 2004
fuck u assholes u buttwipes
Private Severian O. Urth
1:06 am | July 15, 2004
Oops... Sergeant, Ah'm afraid I mislaid them pornos...
romac1991
10:48 pm | July 14, 2004
Oh shit. I just looked on me and jess's comments page, and Spanish Spartan is back. Or an impersonater.

romac1991
Gunnery Sergeant N. Kang--Drop and give me 50
9:57 pm | July 14, 2004
I mean Severian-sorry Private.

GSN.K--DAGM50
Gunnery Sergeant N. Kang--Drop and give my 50
9:52 pm | July 14, 2004
What ABOUT those Cortana files...OA? I made sure they were padlocked into a high security cabinet and guarded by my two most trusted cohorts, Corporal C. BloDed and Private Severain O. Urth. Muahahahaha!!!!!

GSN.K--DAGM50
Private OpeningAct -Horny Sniper d00d-
7:46 pm | July 14, 2004
I totally think a newb is perfect for writing this fic and severian is one of the best newbs out there.
Now then, how about those Cortana files...
Pvt. Severian O. Urth
6:27 pm | July 14, 2004
I'm relatively new... But then, it takes a newb to write about noobs. We have the special combination for average talent, promise, integrity, passion and the anger at being lumped together with the likes of HoZ and spick boy as the "new guys" and also as part of the n00b invasion, which kind of pisses me off.

mr. bill wanted to be in this. I don't know if he does anymore...
Dave Luck
6:20 pm | July 14, 2004
Hey, yeah, yeah! That's awesomely excellent!

I mean, finally we get back at the n00bs for defacing this site!

- Dave.
MC's Cousin
4:32 pm | July 14, 2004
Hey, Rogue (I'm making an example), you can just beg to be in a story like this. Begging is for n00bs! Which you are...Never the less. You phrase it like such: "Where in the love of my pants am I in your story? Did I miss the big bold MCC reference, I don't think so!" See, I just made stupid remark and formally requested my entry in the tail...or something like that.
Also I have to agree that you did come during the n00b invation, which is still ocuring. No matter how many times we swat them and their little car-carrying teddybears out of the sky, they keep coming.

Oh boy, I better calm myself down before I start again...

Signing Off


MCC
Gunnery Sergeant N. Kang--Drop and give me 50
4:28 pm | July 14, 2004
Corporal C. BlooDed, after much extensive thinking and careful planning, I have decided to give you toilet duty :D

GSN. K--DAGM50
Corporal C. BlooDed
3:36 pm | July 14, 2004
Reporting for duty, sir!

Uh, I forgot what I was going to say. Don't give me toilet duty...
Chuckles
3:12 pm | July 14, 2004
You must have Quentin Tarantino in mind to direct this, because there are no good guys :)

Of course, you could play "The Good, The Bad and the Ugly" theme, as Chuckles steps out of the shadows, casually lighting a small cigar, and cracking tough and wise as he squints under his helmet.

You could call it "The SPARTAN with No Name" trilogy, as Chuckles (who would have a name, but nevermind the details) the anti-hero homicidal clown, rids the universe of the nOObs one by bloody one.

Or is this crowd too young to remember Clint Eastwood and The Man With No Name Trilogy by Sergio Leone? Well, just think Quentin Tarantino.
Nah, better leave the Clown out altogether, or you'll get an NC-17 for violence and nobody will see the film.

C.T. Clown
Severian, the junkie Private
11:35 am | July 14, 2004
Only Opening Act is going to die for maybe the next two chapters, so don't worry. He's going to die spectacularly, though.

Major, so... wait, you outrank pratically everyone except for mr.bill.
Major-STYDK (you are all my inferiors!!)
11:27 am | July 14, 2004
Well, I'm not so sure about that. How many people do I outrank in this fic?
Gunnery Sergean N. Kang--Drop and give me 50
11:22 am | July 14, 2004
I hope I, having a long, medal-studded, throughly trained military career, will no be wasted away by such a small, insignificant forces of the Noobs?

GSN.K--DAGM50
Gunnery Sergeant N. Kang--Drop and give me 50
10:32 am | July 14, 2004
OpeningAct has to go out with a bang, with his rifles muzzle flashing, and devastating n00b-rays pounding his body.

GSN.K--DAGM50
Jessica
9:25 am | July 14, 2004
I don't get shoved in there right?

Jess
Private OpeningAct -Sniper d00d-
4:37 am | July 14, 2004
I hope I take a lot of those n00bs with me..
Berconius
2:29 am | July 14, 2004
Hey, Severian, didn't you kinda come here within the last six months or so? How do you know Mr. Bill?

Mr. Bill's last submission was a WHILE ago...I think. And same with Wado. His last was Either the last installment of Eternal Sunder or Carnage Seven. Walker and Mainevent are our oldest and crustiest at the moment...I think.

Me thinky=bad, I know.

Hmm, about three days 'till summer camp. Maybe I'll submit something for once like I've been saying I would for the last two years...*cliff hanger*

The story isn't too bad, though it presently lacks a creative plot and jokes. No worries, though. Keep it up and it'll be okay...I think-er hope.
someone that you dont know
1:33 am | July 14, 2004
If only they knew...
GangstaPimpDaddy
1:14 am | July 14, 2004
Yo, please don't include me if yo just gon diss me.




*gangstapimpdaddy*
343 Salty Beans
1:06 am | July 14, 2004
I was laughing the whole time...but you need to include Spanish Spartan, New001, and Gangsta Pimp Daddy in there too.

343SB
Mastergrunt
12:50 am | July 14, 2004
Pretty funny overall, but you forgot people like walker and wado. Lol, you should make ss the captain of the nOObs.
Severian
10:44 pm | July 13, 2004
And I took your part off from Starship Troopers, Helljumper. Sorry if that bothered you.
Thanks, everyone. -Pvt.Severian-
10:39 pm | July 13, 2004
Really, thanks. I actually was strained in this part because of the need to introduce everyone, and some got more attention than others. I'll fix what issues there was in the next installment, but I won't add more people til' around maybe the third chapter.

CoLd, you don't need to worry. I have bigger things planned for you (MU-AH-HAHAHA!)
Corporal C. BlooDed
10:28 pm | July 13, 2004
Wow, Severian, that was awesome! :P Good thing I outrank you...

Anyways, I'm glad to be in this. Don't kill me, please, I'm only a Corporal.
russ687
8:38 pm | July 13, 2004
Ha! Nick Kang is right. I have not been around here as long as some of you guys, but there is a big difference now comapred to when I came on. Now, I'm scared to read some of these stories...the nightmares...it's sickening.

We should start the CTSN Group: Coalition To Stop Noobs Group. Wait, we could get sued, never mind...
Rogue
8:31 pm | July 13, 2004
Please put me in! I can be one of the n00b2. I don't mind. I like fame for breakfast... eh ... that didn't sound too good. Lemme work on that.
OpeningAct
7:51 pm | July 13, 2004
Hey, you stole that line from Frankie's weekly update didn'yt you Ajax?
Ajax
7:32 pm | July 13, 2004
Sweetness.

Yeah, OpeningAct, share the love. Cortana's hot. She's blue, but she's hot.
Void
6:27 pm | July 13, 2004
I wanna be in the next part....
At the end, it should have been "I didn't know the Gnomes actually existed...." Other than that, it was pretty good.
russ687
5:18 pm | July 13, 2004
The funny part was at the very begginning, it kinda rolled down hill form there. Remember, if you want to make this authentic, you need to enter the pchsyc of a n00b (hard, I know). You need to be able to do 'thihs an tawk likie dis' and make common n00b mistakes. The n00bs were too good here...
OpeningAct
5:15 pm | July 13, 2004
Aren't I a dirty boy
someone that you dont know
5:11 pm | July 13, 2004
I wonder who started the n00b invasion.

I'm the Major. w00t!
Nick Kang
5:08 pm | July 13, 2004
Yeah, I agree with Sentinel--This is the worst period of time since I came here due to the n00bs.
The first time n00bs invaded was pretty bad, but I dub this area of time the Great n00b Depression!

Anyway, awesome story! I get to be a Gunnery Sergeant, woohoo!

NK
Sentinel
3:12 pm | July 13, 2004
It was okay. I didn't find anything funny. It was ironic that you wrote during HBO's nOOb invasion. This is the most nOObs I've ever seen try to write stories.

If it was done intentionally, then okay.
Helljumper
2:29 pm | July 13, 2004
Ranks are capitalized ie Major. What the hell is a Career Ship's Sergeant. And you made me sound like I'm from Starship Troopers. but its cool I like being a hard ass.

ODST
Looks like rain...
1:35 pm | July 13, 2004
You do realize that you came here during the n00b invasion right? Anyways, hilarious story! Really.

wheres my umbrella?


bungie.org
brr!