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Comments for 'Last Defence (Part 1: The Siege Has Begun)'



Sentinel
2:18 am | June 26, 2004
You're all right. This one (to me) fell flat. It really sucks that it takes me a long time to get ideas for a story.
SeverianofUrth
11:29 am | May 22, 2004
Oh, and "defence", I think, is acceptable.
SeverianofUrth
11:27 am | May 22, 2004
I'd ditch it early, and start anew. That's what I'm doing with mine. :)
Helljumper
9:39 pm | May 21, 2004
I didn't like it, there wasn't anything special about it and i don't like the way you wrote it.

ODST
someone that you dont know
11:13 am | May 20, 2004
well,....... This reminds me strangly of Defending America by Romac (Something something something) I dont know the full name. Everything from Los Angeles, to the whole idea of a cty being attacked. Oh well. Kinda boring but it was ok. 7/10
Sentinel
1:03 am | May 20, 2004
Thanks. Yeah, I'll try to avoid the generic. If this seems like a coincidence to a novel or something, that's all it is. I took random items from a list and decided to write something.

I'm planning a sort-of long series (the seige lasts a few parts). But it will take awhile because I need to register Microsoft Word or I won't be able to use it.

I was never good at writing long chapters, ect. But I'll just combine parts 2-3.
Mainevent
12:00 am | May 20, 2004
It was somewhat generic. City under attack, don't send help, suicide for honor. It's all be done before, and many times better.

It was also short. Though You did use code, and you did have a good grip on the grammar and spelling.

Other than avoid the generic, it was an okay story. Try to come up with a deeply engaging plot and all. If it takes time, so be it.
Sentinel
10:48 pm | May 19, 2004
You do realize I was not being serious, right? And someone comment my story.

And Main, that's just how I talk, even in school.
Mainevent
10:35 pm | May 19, 2004
Can you fly?
Sentinel
8:09 pm | May 19, 2004
And no one comment me on my spelling. Thank you.
Sentinel
8:09 pm | May 19, 2004
I can do everything but spell good.
Mainevent
11:45 am | May 19, 2004
Simplest. :)
Sentinel
10:37 am | May 19, 2004
Sorry if it was boring. The real action is in parts 2-3.
Sentinel
10:35 am | May 19, 2004
Crap! I misspelled defense. I don't know why, but I make the most simplist of mistakes.


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