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Fan Fiction

Comments for 'Banserki's Journal (Part 2)'

3:45 am | March 26, 2002
Yeah, I noticed that too. I was confused whether the elite was dead or not and if Banserki threw the grenade. The paragraph made it seem like the elite threw it. But if the elite threw it why was Banserki honored. :Confusion sets in:
6:13 pm | March 25, 2002
One thing... you went from first person to third person in the first paragraph. I know it's hard, but try to stay consistent on who's telling the story. Otherwise, it's good.