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Comments for 'Project Spartan III pt. 1: Punk Hero'



white grunt
6:05 pm | May 25, 2004
pretty good story..")
Jumphappy
5:06 pm | May 24, 2004
FRICKEN PANSIES? That's more of a Sergeant Stacker line. Sounds like you got a good story though.
Row Jerles
4:19 pm | May 23, 2004
Yeah you're right about the whole age thing and all. The thing is, I was kinda rushed because I had to study for final exams and I ran out of ideas that wouldn't change the story so drasicaly that I have to start a new pt. or chapter. I'm also new to Halo and don't know every detail about it, like how to save it or run a spell check. Usually i type on Microsoft Word, and I'm not used to typing on forms like that. And about the yelling, at first I intended it all to be towards Marines and not at each other(other Spartans).

Thanks for the tips though, they really helped. :)
JJiggssaw
11:38 am | May 21, 2004
Yep I'll bet you are fourteen...or maybe younger. Not a bad story, very short, but you need to improve some basic grammar and spelling.

First of all, try not to end a sentence with an adverb. Second, make sure you have the correct past tense (you say swung, not swang). Always run your story through spellcheck, and your grammar should at least come across as half-decent.

Another thing, if you have read the halo books you will note that every Spartan is very quiet. They have in-helmet mics so they communicate softly to each other without yelling.

All in all, i give it 7/10, just like someone you or I don't know:) Keep it up.
Mainevent
11:02 am | May 21, 2004
I believe the 'punk' reference is merely to his age, not his attitude.
someone that you dont know
11:47 am | May 20, 2004
Really strange. There was like only 3 paragraphs of the main stuff. Pretty good and all. Nice twist. But there is no indication in the story that the main character is a punk. Also, you spelled series wrong. Dont worry, i had that problem before when i was younger. Keep it up. 7/10
Darkest90
12:32 am | May 20, 2004
Seems kind of cliche. A fourteen year old as a Spartan? Let me guess, are you fourteen?

Still, pretty good writing. Notice that the Master Chief is kind of a quiet person. He is bold, extremely talented, and vicious, but he isn't loud like Sarge is. Don't make him seem boisterous or anything.

Otherwise, pretty cool.


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