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Comments for 'Alpha Platoon: The Best of the Best' |
Sage Scorpion
3:02 am | March 8, 2004
Hey, getting better. Grammar is still terrible, though. Your stories are getting better, plotwise anyway. But as for your dialogue, well, it's wrong. Just wrong.
Wrong:
"Hey how are you?" Joe asked. "Pretty good, can't complain," replied Jack.
Right:
"Hey, how are you?" Joe asked.
"Pretty good, can't complain," replied Jack.
Do you see what I'm talking about? You really need to start paying attention in English class. And if you can't improve, just stop writing. Really. While the STORY aspect of your writing is improving, the grammar is still impossibly horrible, and hasn't changed since your "Island force" thing. Or your first story, whatever it may be. My point is that, while you might have a tremendous story, great characters, and an intrigueing plot, no one can or will read something that looks like it was written by a retarded monkey (pun intended).
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Thomas Harper
8:35 pm | March 7, 2004
grammar mistakes****
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Thomas Harper
8:21 pm | March 7, 2004
is this CoLd BlooDed and retardedmonkey's own personal chat room. lol jk. i like it but there was a hell of alot of grammar marks but it happenes.
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CoLd BlooDed
6:29 pm | March 6, 2004
No problem.
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retardedmonkey
6:24 pm | March 6, 2004
oooh thats how. thanks
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retardedmonkey
12:53 pm | March 6, 2004
i used the code twice
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CoLd BlooDed
12:42 pm | March 6, 2004
Well, at least you managed to make the title more interesting. Your grammar is horrible, though, and every few seconds I spotted a spelling error. Try harder next time and use the code.
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CoLd BlooDed
1:43 am | March 6, 2004
No, you can indent even if you do just write it in the submission box.
Example:
[indent]"Come on, Marines! Get into the Pelican!" the Sergeant barked, his troops filed into the back of the dropship.
[indent]The Sergeant was the last to board, and once he did, the Pelican lurched and gradually rose. They were off to fight a war.
See? Do that next time, it helps.
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retardedmonkey
1:36 am | March 6, 2004
i cant fix it now...and i can only indent if i use MW and i just typed it in the submition form where if you hit TAB it just jumps down to the next catagory thing
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CoLd BlooDed
1:34 am | March 6, 2004
Twice???! Holy.
I'm being sarcastic, but you should use [indent], and whats up with your story format? The first half of the story was different than the second half. Fix please.
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