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Fan Fiction


Comments for 'Underfire'



Guy in the Hole
10:43 pm | February 8, 2004
Ahhhhhhhhh....
Well maybe I read into the books too much. But weren't all the Spartans on the POA when the attack on REACH happened. Save three that were "to far away to be recalled". So where did these four come from. And you know there are rules against hair that long.
Hey, I know, HEY EVERYONE! Let's have a one on all of you party, your the Elites and I'm a Spartan. Nope sorry, lets try not to pull movie odds on everyone.

OH NO!

Back in the Hole!
MC's cousin
10:30 pm | February 8, 2004
Hmm....
Apart from glassed over eyes, I enjoyed it. Try to shorten your story lengths though. I agreed with Dispraiser abou the length, but still about 3/4 of that would be good. Or you could just use your already marked chapters as breaking points.
That deal with a space between every paragraph is interesting, but OK.
I'll keep reading, so keep it up.

Signing Off



MCC
me
2:46 pm | February 8, 2004
it was good normally i dont read long stories
Soundvirus (aka person)
5:19 am | February 7, 2004
Nice!
CoLd BlooDed
11:57 pm | February 4, 2004
Exactly what Dispraiser said, NO MATTER WHAT, there is no perfect character that can kill a whole troop of Elites by himself.

The MC even has trouble with fighting Elites...
Dispraiser
8:06 pm | February 4, 2004
Oops, I hit refresh...
Dispraiser
3:36 am | February 4, 2004
I didn't like the intro. Too many new writers try to make fanfics that are arranged like movies. In movies, hwoever, you get many freedoms that you simply can't while writing. Well written, by HBO standards gramaticly. The story was almost as generic as it gets, but there are some taht threaten this wrath. I'd just like to ask something before I end this comment... Why is it that NO MATTER WHAT kind of civillian you are and no matter what job you had, no matter what past military experience you can STILL kill fifty armed, trained Coveannt soldiers. Even the Nylund Chief has a hard time with more than four or five Grunts. The Dietz one doesn't even do as good as most HBO based main characters. I liked the longer length though, good to see someone doesn't think two sentences is a fanfic.

Flackfic of four.
Dispraiser
3:36 am | February 4, 2004
I didn't like the intro. Too many new writers try to make fanfics that are arranged like movies. In movies, hwoever, you get many freedoms that you simply can't while writing. Well written, by HBO standards gramaticly. The story was almost as generic as it gets, but there are some taht threaten this wrath. I'd just like to ask something before I end this comment... Why is it that NO MATTER WHAT kind of civillian you are and no matter what job you had, no matter what past military experience you can STILL kill fifty armed, trained Coveannt soldiers. Even the Nylund Chief has a hard time with more than four or five Grunts. The Dietz one doesn't even do as good as most HBO based main characters. I liked the longer length though, good to see someone doesn't think two sentences is a fanfic.

Flackfic of four.


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