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Comments for 'Wilkins part 1'

12:38 pm | December 5, 2002
Your last paragraph seemed to be a little to rushed slow it down a bit. First hes driving then his passenger is dead. The the gunner gets shot 5 times then he falls on the ground and 5 plasma grenades get stuck to him. I think you could of strung that out a bit add some more details.
Phat Bob
9:42 pm | December 4, 2002
Thanks guys. I already have 3 other parts written, but I'm gonna try and add some more to them. As for the punctuation, I typed it up at about 3 in the morning because I was bored. Ill make sure the rest of the series is a little bit better quiality.

Agian, thanks for the input.
4:52 pm | December 4, 2002
Not too bad, but could be better. Very short, and some of the punctuation was attrocious. Other than that, pretty good. Oh, and a little more detail is in order for some of it. Just a few helpful suggestions.
garrett mith
4:12 pm | December 4, 2002
why didn't halo come on the computer?
3:58 am | December 4, 2002
let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor, tsh tsh tsh tsh FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRR!!!!! oops sorry i just like that song :D