Comments for 'This is Suicide: Chapter 1'
5:08 am | November 17, 2002
lol nice one
9:36 pm | November 13, 2002
They're a squad and you're asking how many of them?
For one, as addressed earlier ( I think ) Jackals have a superb sense of smell. You could argue against this by saying 'He has a suit; dumbass.'
This is true.
However, the Covenant are likely briefed on 'How to kill your friendly neighborhood SPARTAN' when they started kicking Covie ass.
The Jackals might still smell the attacker, but also- vision comes into play. I'm not sure if that rifle has any muzzle flash or not, but if it did they'd sure as hell see it. The Chief is sitting in the bushes over 400 meters away?
Pssh. The bushes, for one, don't offer very much cover. If he crouches or even sits, as you imply-
He's still going to be a pretty big target with 'kill me' pasted on his face in big, bright orangy letters.
Be aware that its not the QUALITY of the story I'm disputing, its the Covenant's apparent lack of brain power and co-ordinated tactics. They see a comrade drop they're going to find cover and return fire to where the sniper might have set up.
8:33 pm | November 13, 2002
I like this story. A nice read to find here after coming home from school.To be honest, I actually found myself enjoying the paragraph on the Warthog, I hope you do that with other equipment as well. I do believe with the tech that you described, that the LAV would be able to travel a tid bit faster then one hundred and five kilometeres an hour... But thats just me...Nice job, I can't wait for you to continue the story.
6:22 pm | November 13, 2002
"i was thinking of doing a side piece of just technical stuff so that next time you guys want some details on a vehicle, you can just look it up. let me know what you think of that idea. "
Sounds great, I'm interested. Say, I had this idea that you could put more specifications in your story if it was the Covenant looking up the stuff, for instance, if an Elite found a UNSC manual on the Warthog and learned all this stuff while trying to drive the vehicle. Just a thought.
4:27 pm | November 13, 2002
thank you guys for the comments and they have all been taken into account for the next story. also, i did not mean for the Covenant to look stupid in this chapter. but how many of them could poosibly know that a sniper is sitting in the bushes over 400 meters away? i also do not think that i put too much emotion into the Master Chief, but if you perceived it that way, well, that's your interpretation and i won't say it's wrong. one last thing, i only devoted such a large section to the Warthog because nobody has any technical specs on any of the vehicles and, as an engineering major, that knid of bugged me. i was thinking of doing a side piece of just technical stuff so that next time you guys want some details on a vehicle, you can just look it up. let me know what you think of that idea.
12:18 pm | November 13, 2002
The story was interesting... lol, I think I'm going to get harder in an attempt to bug everyone enough to grade MINE harder.
Now, with the Covenant, they're obviously going to be a lot more tactically sound. As Wado suggested, they could call in an air strike after retreating for cover or requesting some sort of a scan for the area to determine the location of any snipers.
It could also be said that of ALL things JACKALS DO NOT USE MOB TACTICS.
They are some of the most intelligent warriors the Covenant have to offer, with superior senses, yet great physical weakness. They could form into a shell, keeping in close and overlapping shields in the fashion that elephants or other herd animals do.
That situation though, is highly unlikely, seeing as how Jackals are usually caught in teams of at least two, and prefer to take a staggered formation and spread as the combat gets thicker. In this way thay have the ability not only to catch the attacker or defender off guard, but they can also maintain a general superiority with the entire thing.
No Jackal is out of range of the other Jackal, able to provide support should the team member need it; and those Jackals are likely not to be caught in the blast radius of any grenades and such because of that spacing.
They'd be a bit more agressive too. They have no phsycological restrictions, and they don't give a damn WHO they kill. This goes for all Covenant. Humans are mere prey to be slaughtered.
Seeing this, they're more likely to act agressively, turning in the direction of the shooter and laying down supressing fire. Its important to note- Jackals have great noses, and might try to smell stuff a mile or so off, suspecting ambush. Yes, the Chief has speed on his side (40kph is like... a jog to this guy.) However, unlike human weapons plasma weapons have no recoil whatsoever; allowing a Jackal to keep up a more sustained rate of fire. If just ONE overcharged shot hits, the shields are gone.
On to grunts, though they may be used as cannon fodder they are by no means stupid. They are sentient beings with a high survival instinct, and they can either cower or just plain get pissed off and help attack. Remember, they think they've got the advantage of numbers, therefore they might see a muzzle flash or ascertain that the squad has triangulated the location of the attacker and needs them to perform a flanking maneuver or something. Like Jackals, grunts could overcharge their pistols. Grenades also have a tendancy to be hurled at close ranges, possibly confusing or deafening the attacker- Not to mention the Jackals or the grunts themselves.
Imagine trying to carry out orders when all you can do is nod and say 'Yessir!'
Squads, unless they're totally stupid- have a tendancy to work together. Thats what being a unit is all about, a tightly-knit, highly effective, lethal fighting force equipped to deal damage on a high scale. Covenant likely don't give a rat's arse if they're pinned down or intimidated, because a lot of them are hell-bent on crushing humanity. Ever see that one part in the book where the grunts didnt CARE about the lotus mines?
All they wanted was Spartan blood.
If anyone wants to argue, or annoy me over my annoying rant- feel free to do so... Unless it's got NOTHING constructive.
2:12 am | November 13, 2002
Wow Knightmare, that's the longest comment I've seen out of you in a long time...lol.
So I think you are saying that you would have liked to see the MC get hurt a little or at least be a bit more challenged by the Covenant. I would agree, but then I remembered that this is only the first chapter, setting up the mood for the rest of the story -- Let's not discourage this talented writer.
BTW Knightmare, post your next story so I can write a comment on it. ;)
11:12 pm | November 12, 2002
Very good. Very detailed and a mysterious plot. Even though I agree with Wado's and ST_M'scomments, I'm looking forward to reading the next one.
9:00 pm | November 12, 2002
A very nice chapter. You got the first paragraph down to a pinch and your style of writing is class. Two things:- Don't give us that much information about the equipment. A large chunk devoted in describing a Warthog? Not good. Perhaps you should have described the alloy when the Warthog was travelling. Make the Hog bump around and state that the MC wasn't worried about it because of the titanium alloy used etc.- Keep the MC the "strong silent" type. I really rather not read up too much on his thoughts or emotions. <-- Just my personal preference really since I rarely like the MC described in so much detail. I'd rather see him remain slightly mysterious and let the readers make up their own mind about him.Looking forward to reading some more.PS. Something that irks me in so many fan fictions here: Marine interaction and importance. Seriously, I don't feel a connection nor do I sense one. It's like the marines are tacked on to be used as cannon fodder or humour. There's not much character exploration (or dialogue) between them. This applies to alot of fan fiction here.
8:33 pm | November 12, 2002
Nice details, the grammar was very good, and you did not seem to rush the story -- Excellent job.
I wonder, are you going to get into that much detail with the Covenant weapons and equipment -- that would be very cool.
Not much more I can say. On the other hand, I hope that the Covenant get a bit more intelligent, the game AI doesn't really do them justice, Halo 2 should be better at showing the Covenant taking cover and noticing when snipers are around, etc. The story reminded me a little too much of the game, not that that is bad, but even if the Grunts are super dumb (which they aren't), the Covenant would have some standard tactics to deal with snipers that the Grunts should follow. I would think they should at least be taught to take cover, call in an air strike or something. However, that's just my thoughts, keep up the writing, looking forward to reading more.
7:34 pm | November 12, 2002
This is a good story and can't wait for the next part. Well done and again(at the risk of sounding repetetive but what the hell) nice work.
5:21 pm | November 12, 2002
I'm just going to bug you about the title... It's SUICIDE!! Run for your life!!