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Comments for 'Jaffa Part 2' |
Neal Stack
8:44 pm | October 17, 2003
damn, well ye whom judges you i haven't ripped off SG-1 because I just have NAMES not personalities. so seriously lay off.
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ye whom judges you
3:45 am | October 17, 2003
Learn to spell you piece of shit. And quit ripping off SG SG-1.
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Neal Stack
12:32 am | October 17, 2003
well atleast some people like it i thank you javier. tic tacs?
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FOrunnER
12:03 am | October 17, 2003
Is it pronounced Java like th coffe, of Jaffa like in Stargate SG-1, love that show, lol
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javier fernandez-vina
6:45 pm | October 16, 2003
Don't worry man im with ya.I love stargate sg-1 and you just took 2 names from the show.The whole damn place was on you restating you the obvious.But spelling problems aside, its a good story.Everyone back off!Or you'll answer to me!
Good luck dude, and keep at it.
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jigga
6:03 pm | October 15, 2003
i like tic tacs
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jigga
6:03 pm | October 15, 2003
i like tic tacs
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Walker
11:27 am | October 15, 2003
...
......
.........
..--Ah, this isn't getting us anywhere. This story was a leeeetle bit better than the last one... 7.8/10, because, while still atrocious in many places, was better than the last time. I'll give you credit for that. But you should proofread and spell check.
If a character says something, and it ends with a period, and their name comes after it signifying they said it, it ends with a comma.
"Hello, Pete," said Jane.
NOT
"Hello, Pete" said Jane.
You can't have the unfortune of something, you have the misfortune.
And some other stuff.
Good luck, because I can see that you're trying to improve. It'll work. Trust me. Stick around long enough, and your name will go up with fireworks to the levels of those who have gone through the system before you.
Semper Fi
-Walker
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