halo.bungie.org

They're Random, Baby!

Fan Fiction


Comments for 'One Name'



CovieKilla
12:32 am | May 7, 2004
Keyword: ALMOST (understood)
Hawk7886
9:36 am | May 6, 2004
Wow.

I thought I was doing a good job following until right around the end. The quality of the writing certainly made up for the lack of 'action', and the length was kept very clean.

Very good work, I'm proud to say I read it and almost understood the whole thing.
Berconius
1:21 am | May 6, 2004
And that's why I try very hard never to flame people.

In your case, PLEASE realize that Dialogue is great for developing characters. It's a way to show HOW a person will react to outside stimuli. Long narrations get darn boring after a while. Very quickly, actually.

Admittedly, I have to go with Coviekilla. Advertising your stuff like this...it's low and it's very self centered. Proclaiming yourrself as a golden child isn't helping your image.

I make no claim to being right, just that your modesty is...thin.

On that first paragrah, it's ambiguous, but I think it's quite briliant. it can apply to a few things, i would believe. I'm just unsure of what it was MEANT to apply to. (Author's intent, ARG!)

Dialogue and less actin has actualyl made many great stories. The Archon series, for example. A Canticle for Leibowitz is a great book with next to no action. After reading the Redwall series, it just got old for me...unless it's done well...

If seniority meant rank, you'd be that hot shot Lance Corporal mouthing off to the Master Gunnery Sergeant...
Nick Kang
11:42 am | May 5, 2004
Yeah, Golden Child. Come to think of it, I don't think you've ever even written a story. I don't think people have the right to criticize other peoples' stories if they've never even written their own. So I'd really like to see you do better.

NK
CovieKilla
10:48 pm | May 4, 2004
The Golden Child...Please, shut up and stop embarassing yourself. Some of the Chapters in the Halo novels (FoR and FS in particular), did not have action in particular chapters, yet you decide to comment on how Bill's work did not have action. Bill has been here for well over 3 years...you, have been here since this April, if anything, he should comment on your work, and tell you how to write fics. So shut up, and enjoy some poetic storytelling by Billy Boy. Got it?
Mr. Bill
7:59 pm | May 4, 2004
The Golden Child, firstly, I suggest you read some of my earlier stories.

Secondly, the entire point here was to write a story without any action- its been done and done to death.
The Golden Child
6:23 am | May 4, 2004
Errrr...This was some frickin' Shakespeare play put into a narrative. The first paragraph made no sense. Most of the time it sounded like you were just trying to use a fancy vocabulary to show off to the readers. Which is good - sometimes.

5/10
The Golden Child
6:23 am | May 4, 2004
Oh yeah. And not enough action! Most of the story was just dialogue, which really pisses me off. To get a good idea on how to write action, read some of my stories:
-Nightwraiths (The First Chapter, which should appear on this site in the next few days)
-The Battle For Ka'Miah'Lin
-The Wrath Of Earth's Children
-The other Threat
-Dedication Beyond Death (soon to appear on this
site)
-The other Threat
-The Battle For Gu'Re'Lah
These should give you an indication on how to write good action. And with your vocabulary, they should be sweet.

L8ter gents!

TGC
Helljumper
4:06 pm | May 3, 2004
Very good, it kinda... you know what this story did.

ODsT
Nick Kang
11:09 am | May 3, 2004
Jesus!~ That was like Eric Nylund's work! :D

NK
Mainevent
1:30 am | May 3, 2004
Anyone here read anything of Nylund's other than the Halo books?

I've read A Signal Shattered, and it is an excellent book. It's a sequel, but you don't have to read the first one to get it.
Berconius
4:51 pm | May 2, 2004
Wow, I feel disappointed in not understanding that, now...didn't quite catch the opening's relevence to the story.

Good to see you back here again, though. Hope you'll be here to stay! 9.5/10
MT
4:51 pm | May 2, 2004
I found the story poetic and almost beautiful. Sorry, but your demonstration of the absurdity of human life was lost on me. I did recognise a sort of duality of existence.

I was very much fixated on your contemplation of the incoming death (or is it survival/life?) and destruction. And I also found your description of a few acquaintances drinking themselves into a stupor remarkably realistic and pleasant to read.

This was my first time reading your work and I very much look foward to more. I think I will search out some older stories from you.

Thank you for the read.
Mr. Bill
4:32 pm | May 2, 2004
Thanks for the comments- the idea here, if it's been missed- was to demonstrate the absurdity of human life on Earth after a Covenant invasion, for all the little oddities that make up life are ruined by such an event.
CovieKilla
4:01 pm | May 2, 2004
Nice to see you writing again Billy Boy...Great story too...Just got a little confusing at the end, other than that, great read. 9.5/10.
Wiley
1:50 pm | May 2, 2004
odd...very odd....
9.4/10


bungie.org