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Comments for 'The Enemy Within-Chapter Two: A Trap Triggered'

7:17 pm | April 10, 2004
Well, this piece seems to have recieved high marks. I am glad.

I'm glad it kept you reading and gave you "feelings", I suppose I just got the mood right on.
A bridge huh? Maybe I need to take an engineering class...

2:30 pm | February 23, 2004
Awesome!! I felt like I was reading one of the Halo books. Nice writing style. Can't wait for the next chapter.

-Dammit Jenkins fire your weapon!!
12:20 pm | February 22, 2004
Very good story. It kept me reading on, and the characters were very nicely done.
MC's Cousin
12:02 pm | February 22, 2004
Now I see I'm going to use this comparison a lot in the future but oh-well, I like it. Like a bridge (see previous relating post), if it is too short, most of the time it will turn out to be annoying and pointless. If however the bridge is short and necessary (say, over a deep but not very wide ravine) then it can be alright, but making sure your base (what's under the bridge) is important makes that distinction. You float somewhere inbetween I think right now.

Signing Off

6:47 am | February 22, 2004
Quite good, but too short. Still, I liked the feling of being there that you gave me.

MCC, a great explanation of story-structure. *Awed*
CoLd BlooDed
3:42 am | February 22, 2004
Wow, MCC, that is a real cool explanation on the structure of stories. For my next TSTS tell me if the bridge collapses, okay? ;P
CoLd BlooDed
7:47 pm | February 21, 2004
Well written, and also, if you want more readers then you have to read their stories like Delta said. You should also make them longer, its better when there is more to read. :D
2:48 pm | February 20, 2004
Yeah, I've read a few of the other stories, but I suppose I just didn't want to comment. I'll give the advice a go.

6:27 am | February 20, 2004
Good job. Keep writing like this and you should have no problem keeping it interesting. If you want people to read your stories, I suggest you read theirs and comment on them. People will see your name and then when you post they will read. Good luck.
5:59 am | February 20, 2004
The series is good so far
3:11 pm | February 19, 2004
all of them were, sorry I wasn't more specific. I wanted to get another one out so no one would forget about the previous story. That's why is was so short too.

P.S. I hate to do this, but tell smoe of the other fanfiction goers to read some of my stuff, having very few comments is really discoraging. I want to know what people think about it.
2:50 pm | February 19, 2004
Pretty good. So was the original group and the three search teams destroyed or just one.