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Comments for 'Through Murderous Eyes: An Elite's Tale'



MadJackal
12:48 am | June 17, 2004
Just to let you all know, it may be a little while before I post anything new here. I'm currently working on three (technically four) Halo projects, so you all can expect some cool stuff in the future, but I'm also expanding my Fan Fiction horizons and am starting to write stories for BattleTech, which may take up some of my writing time normally reserved for Halo stories. So, it will take much longer to finish my current Halo projects, one of which is a completely new series. I'll try to finish everything, but it may be a while before I do. Just to let everyone know :)
The Huntress
8:38 pm | June 3, 2004
hey mad, if you would read my story: The Huntress, that'd be great. i need some help to imrpove the rest of the series, and it's kinda emberassing....cause i didn't really use paragraphs in one part.....i wasn't really paying attention. ^^....so sorry about that! and my elite names will improve, don't worry. i found that one web site...anywho, if you would that'd be great. thnx! oh, and that was an awesome story! i love all of your stories! (i havn't read all of them yet, though)
New001
1:37 am | June 3, 2004
Aww... that is a touchin' story when will there be the new fiction
MadJackal
6:45 pm | May 27, 2004
Thanks for your comments guys. Support from my readers is what drives me to create fanfiction for your enjoyment (hopefully) ;)
I do try to put some care into my stories. If I'm going to take the time to write something for others to read, I try to make sure that it is worth reading and that people will enjoy reading it. After all, isn't the whole point of writing merely to create a good experience for the readers?
Actually, the dream of writing a book is what inspired me to start writing in the first place. In the sixth grade, I decided that I was going to try to write a book, even though some people scoffed at the idea of a kid trying to write a book. I ignored them, and with some support from my friends, I started my first story. That was years ago. I never finished it, and it wasn't that great anyways.
That didn't stop me. As time went on, I unconsciously developed my own unique writing style mostly from reading lots of books that I enjoyed and by writing. Then came Halo. I started writing short stories during free time in class. My friends loved them, so I would let them keep them. After about half a year of this, I found HBO. I read some of the stories here and was really impressed and thought that I'd try my hand at writing. Feeling inspired late one night, I sat down and started writing. Not knowing how or when the story would end, I kept writing late into the night until I was done. Thus was born my first HBO fanfic: The Furious Hatred. I posted it right after I was done.
Since then, I have tried to improve my writing by listening to reactions from my readers, seeing what they like and what they don't. I hope that I have succeeded, though there is still a long way to go.
I would just like to say (now that I've realized that I'm rambling) in closing: don't get discouraged. Keep writing and never give up. We all have to start somewhere. Skill comes with experience. We all have something to learn.
crashedwarthog
10:03 am | May 26, 2004
hey mad, just saying again that this was a kikass story, and that i'll be submitting part 7 to my series soon too lol, just thought u'd like to know
Frodo
6:32 am | May 26, 2004
Another damn good story. After spending several hours sifting through the masses of fan fiction that HBO has posted, you're the only author whose stories I read.

For one, your spelling is quite good (I don't know if I've yet seen a spelling error), your grammar is good, your content is excellent, and while somewhat predictable (your protagonists tend to die), there are frankly few criticisms that can be leveled at your works.

Honestly, MadJackal, you may want to consider writing a novel. You definately have the talent. Other than some minor spacing problems and really insignificant details, your stories have very little to be improved upon. I don't know how old you are, but the level of your writing and the care you seem to put into each story certainly gives you a leg above the other authors.
Stacey
7:01 pm | May 25, 2004
...I've read this like twice before and I could have sworn I posted a comment on it...I guess I didn't. Well, anyways, it was good. I'd give it a 10/10, I liked it as usual.
P.S....You never talk to me anymore!!! Why? WHY?!
white grunt
6:30 pm | May 25, 2004
great story i love it, and yea i want to see a hunter thats infection you know have the eltie fear a hunter..
New001
3:50 am | May 25, 2004
tehfgjd










































































like i said
New001
3:48 am | May 25, 2004
boy is this system dumb
Sid
1:50 pm | May 24, 2004
Once again, you have demonstrated an excellent writing style and knowledge about the Halo Universe. Keep it up!
The warped mind of New001 presents
3:32 am | May 24, 2004
A theory,
In order to fully infect a hunter you neeed three flood infectors why? Well, the hunter is a much more advanced creature than what the flood is used to infecting. You'd need one to control the legs, one to infect the mind, one to reach the spinal cored, and one to power the fuel gun. Hey Mad Jackel, how 'bout a strory about a hunter soon?



P.S. Don't laugh the Elfudge men don't laugh.
MadJackal
1:35 pm | May 23, 2004
Yeah, it's fun writing about Elites :) Actually, I've been using the rank Squad Master, Field Master, etc. for a long time, starting with my story The Darkness.
Mind_Affecting_Parasite
4:55 pm | May 22, 2004
Hey, that is like the very first time I have seen "Squad Master" used in reference to an Elite in any other story than mine. But, maybe I haven't been paying attention. Maybe I subconsciously stole it from you!?
Good story though. Personally, I like writing things from an Elites PoV, and reading about it of course .

-MAP
MadJackal
2:36 pm | May 22, 2004
Thanks for the comments, guys. It's good to hear from other people about my stories. Generally, I make my Elite talk kind of formal, but based on what was happening at this point in the Halo storyline, it can be assumed that they formed bonds with each other. I mean, these Elites have been fighting the Flood for days and can surely identify with each other enough that they unconsciously start to drop the formal speech.
Also, I did make my Elites strong, but I intended for them to be Legendary quality. I tried to make my Flood Legendary quality as well, but individually, they can't compete with a Legendary Elite.
I think that plasma rifles, and other plasma weapons too for that matter, have to be recharged on charging racks. I can't say that for sure, but it seems logical. Also, swapping out a plasma rifle seems quicker and easier.
And, about who can and can't be infected by the Flood:
Grunts, Jackals, and combat forms too damaged to be effective become CARRIER FORMS.
Humans and Elites become COMBAT FORMS.
We currently do not know what infected Hunters become or what they look like once infected. It can be assumed that they make some sort of combat form, but it is also possible that something about their body chemistry makes it so that they can't be converted effectively by Flood infection. Until we see an infected Hunter, we will never know for sure.
Nick Kang
11:51 am | May 22, 2004
ALL OF THE COVENANT ARE INFECTED!!!!
Jackals, Grunts, and Hunters just become carrier forms!!! Read H:TF(I think that's the book it's in)! This issue has been discussed already.

NK
yeti
8:40 am | May 22, 2004
just remember, only humans and elites are infected, not jackles, grunts or hunters
BlackGhost
4:06 am | May 22, 2004
I have to agree with MCC. The dialogue between the elites seemed a little off. I would imagine they would be much more gruff towards one another. But, hey man however you decide to put it is fine with me. Anyways, great story!
MC's Cousin
10:44 pm | May 21, 2004
Well, while I do agree with the other comments pertaining to this stories goodness, I still can find mistakes. But, that isn't a surprise. No story is perfect.
First, you said something about Esna changing his whole rifle. In the Halo handbook, it says that humans just don't know how to change a plasma weapon "battery". So I would conjecture that changing a batery would be like slapping in a new magazine. But it was no biggie.
Second. Well, I've heard of the infamous "invinsible Marines" but now we have invinsible Elites! You did make them quuite tough, and they never seamed to die, or take much damage. Plus, there were several times when I though the guys shields were already gone, and then you said something about "weakened shields" plus, after a lot of battering, I would think the systems would eventually fail. Like what happened to MC in First Strike.
Your dialogue was the last real thing I noticed. It seamed very...un-Elite-ish. Just not as formal or, if I may say, "Teal'c like". But onceagain, not a biggie.

Oh, and Kryptic Kanard, yes they do. Even in the game, Flood pods will latch onto Grunts and Jackals. And in H:tF it even says McKay saw three pods latched onto a Grunt. Also, if you read into the latter two books, you will find that lower sentients (such as Grunts and Jackals) are turned strait into Carrier forms. Higher beings (such as Humans and Elites) are turned into Combat forms, and once they are damaged enough or have surpaced their usefulness, they are turned into Carriers. Just to clear things up, if they weren't already.

But don;t get me wrong, overall it was an awsome story. I do like the Elite's point of view, and that it lived at the end. Afterall, Elites are necissarily the bad guys, they're just mis-understood. From a different perspective of course.

Signing Off


MCC
MadJackal
11:17 am | May 21, 2004
I might write another one...
It would be fun writing the story of this Elite trying to save his squad. I'm still considering whether or not to write a sequel to this. When I wrote this one, it started out as a normal, serious MadJackal story, but as I got farther into it, I decided to mess with my readers' minds a little (or the ones who regularly read my stories, that is). Nick Kang is right, pretty much all of my main characters die. I never really intended it to be that way, as I write by inspiration and usually never know how a story is going to end. Seeing this, I knew that my regular readers would be expecting Esna to die, and that it would drive them insane thinking, "Okay, he's going to die now...or maybe not. Maybe he'll die this time!" :)
So, Esna does not die in this story, and neither does Field Master Lozemee, who seemed to have nine lives as well.
CoLd BlooDed
1:01 am | May 21, 2004
I thought he was gonna die several times in the story, but damnit, Mad, you prooved me wrong. Great job, by the way.

Say... finished Forced Betrayal yet? Long time since. :)
Nick Kang
12:02 am | May 21, 2004
Yeah, when the Flood with the RL jumped right in front of Esna, I thought 'Okay. Here we go. He's gonna die.' but then I realized that there was still like half a page left, so I didn't know how he was going to die as soon as the Flood got smashed on the rocks.

NK
Nick Kang
9:50 pm | May 20, 2004
I'm assuming he's gonna make another one. In all of Mad's stories, the main character always dies. So seeing as how Esno didn't die, I'm waiting for the next one.

NK
Vengeance
9:20 pm | May 20, 2004
Wow... that was really cool. Just out of curiosity, are you going to make another part to that. Like when the Elite helps save his squad? If you did, it would be sweet.
Awacar
8:49 pm | May 20, 2004
*Bows deeply*

I thank you MadJackal, I thank you for the joy of this day. This story defines it!
Elite Zov
6:03 pm | May 20, 2004
Now thats what I talking about! Sweet job!
Nick Kang
6:00 pm | May 20, 2004
Yeah, Karnard. Of course you would probably known that had you read the novel Halo: The Flood.

And the story was great, the only flaw I found was that it sometimes got a little repetitive. Keep it up.

NK
MadJackal
3:52 pm | May 20, 2004
Actually, Kryptic Karnard, infection forms are the universal Flood method of infection. The Flood considers Grunts and Jackals to be too weak to be used as COMBAT FORMS. They are instead turned into Carrier Forms, which are used to spawn replacements for lost infection forms.
Kryptic Karnard
3:21 pm | May 20, 2004
Overall good peice of work.....the one thing i didn't like was how the infection for took over the jackal....Infection forms consider jackals too weak to infect....they only go for Elites and Humans...that's why you don't see any Jackal or Grunt Flood in Halo....and if you don't believe me read the nobel Halo: The Flood

Good Work Anyways!
Kryptic Karnard
3:21 pm | May 20, 2004
Overall good peice of work.....the one thing i didn't like was how the infection form took over the jackal....Infection forms consider jackals too weak to infect....they only go for Elites and Humans...that's why you don't see any Jackal or Grunt Flood in Halo....and if you don't believe me read the novel Halo: The Flood

Good Work Anyways!
Darkest90
4:03 am | May 20, 2004
This was an excellent piece of work, I give you a standing ovation. Thanks.
New001
1:32 am | May 20, 2004
Thamkyou so much for the happy ending. I finally got to read of an elite living. Good job.



P.S. Fast Eddie of the el fudge men forgives you
Nick Kang
1:06 am | May 20, 2004
Uhhh! Right when I get home, 38 pieces greet me. I don't have enough time to read this one, Mad, but I will in the morning.

NK
DeathSquadTrooper
9:43 pm | May 19, 2004
ELITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SOS.Odin
9:30 pm | May 19, 2004
gj
i enjoyed it much
The Razor
7:01 pm | May 19, 2004
Mad... You are simply the best.

10/10 FOR A FAN FIC;D

8/10 in the list of your stories;)
m3
6:56 pm | May 19, 2004
That was a sweet story dude.
m3
6:56 pm | May 19, 2004
That was a sweet story dude.
Elite Zov
6:16 pm | May 19, 2004
More stories I heard and read about covenants, but this is art. :)
MuBaRaK
9:48 am | May 19, 2004
Absolutely stunning graphical description. Enthralling storyline and blood-filled action.
Great all around. Nice Job.
crashedwarthog
8:24 am | May 19, 2004
Hey mad, again, another bewildering story=D i have never found anything wrong with your stories before and this is no acception!

well done man, 11/10


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