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Comments for 'Probably No Choice' |
Anonymous
10:24 pm | May 22, 2004
good
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Solidus Snake
4:30 pm | February 29, 2004
Good story, and all my question already been ask. Keep it up, now I must read your other story.
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Jon M
4:54 pm | February 27, 2004
Hey thanks again everyone. Does anyone know how to check if your file is too big to submit? I wrote chapter two last night (actually part II of chapter One) and its 5 pages by Microsoft Word. As a word file, it's 37k, but as a text file it's only 19k...which does this editor use? I submitted it and it went through (after about 10 attempts), and I think I also goofed and didn't link it to my series...should I repost it? Any ideas...Thanks.
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Mind_Affecting_Parasite
4:39 pm | February 27, 2004
Not bad. I love to make my stories up of the top of my head. I do it every time and every day as I go along. It makes it more fun that way. Although I don't make the whole thing up just like that. I'll think about it you know. Plan out the main story line and think up a few little branchlings to woork on in the story. But the main fibers of the story I make up as I write them. Gives them a more natural feel I think.
-MAP
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CoLd BlooDed
12:11 pm | February 27, 2004
The first FF I posted was made up as it went along too, and it turned out pretty good. But once I tried that again it was more unorganized and unplanned, if you make a guideline on what you want your story to be about then it is a whole lot easier.
And JJigg, it comes out once Louis posts it, I'll be the first to read it. :P
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The Collector
3:27 am | February 27, 2004
Hook up with a decent lookin chick, Get laid and rite again. Just Kiddin. U got talent man. I stuck by the story when i couldnt even understanding why. Read up on the halo universe and come back.
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Jon M...aka The Flu
3:09 pm | February 26, 2004
Seeing as how I'm a Noob here, I'll do what ever I can to check out more of everyone's stories and see what I've been missing so I can get more details right. To be honest, what I knew about the Halo background story and all the details came from either playing multiplayer, reading Asmodeus' Legendary Walkthrough and reading some book reviews on Amazon. (Still haven't read the books)
So in case you missed it.. I'M MAKING THIS SHIT UP AS I GO ALONG.
Now that I know how important it is to all of you, I'll try to get more of the factual elements correct, but this story is going to be about a group that preceeds SPARTAN I. Adam belongs to a test group (maybe not even millitary) that was pushing the limits of a few key human abilities. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I like the idea of the Military rejecting Adam specifically because of his...let's call it...malleability rather than sympathy. I guess I better write chapter two tonight and see where it goes. Thanks again everyone.
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JCDenton
1:16 pm | February 26, 2004
Im having a hard time coming up with great ideas, as once again I had to tear away 6 pages of my story because they didnt fit it. I want to have it perfect, and make it like those books they sell.
back 2 topic: this story is better than I normally see here. keep it up.
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JJiggssaw
12:42 pm | February 26, 2004
Hey heres a question peoples-How long does it take for your stories to show up after you send them in. I sent one in yesterday-how long should it take? Oh and yes feel free to give a terrible review of my (probably) terrible story. Not like you need permission...
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MC's Cousin
11:17 am | February 26, 2004
No tips? Well this isn't right. I'll have to fix that right away. First I like how you are talking about the original group of SPARTANS, I always wondered what happened to them. Althoug...
But, you did spell UNSC wrong, you know "USMC" unless you meant it that way and I'm just getting myself confused. I must say that this was one of the toughest yet I have come upon to critique. Good Work. Or more accurately, Great Work. I like it. I read the comments about the "SPARTAN attitude" and all, but I have to diagree with them and agree with you. I think I understand where you're going. Keep it up.
Signing Off
MCC
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Jamirus99
11:17 am | February 26, 2004
To help 'Nosolee here: Steele, Nike, Jillybean....take your pick folks!
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GLADIATRRR3000
5:12 am | February 26, 2004
...and mine....?
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'Nosolee
2:01 am | February 26, 2004
JJigg, you obviously haven't searched the submissions sent in the summer of 2003, there were plenty of extrodinary fanficitons written by CoLd, Frensa Geran, um...I'm forgetting many others, oh and me, lol.
I do like this story Flu, good stuff.
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Jon M
11:23 pm | February 25, 2004
Thanks again for the input, SS. I have nothing but respect for your well reasoned argument. Three quick points, although I don't want to give away too much of the story that has only barely begun.
1. Adam is not a NEW prototype, he is a pre-quel if you will. He was part of an experiemnt that focused on strength and intelligence (i.e. reasoning ability - a smart warrior knows when and how to attack. The smartest warrior knows how to defeat the enemy without attacking at all.) But Adam does have faults. Perhaps this is one of them, and ODST knows this, but is now desperate. hint...hint..foreshadow...foreshadow
2. I freely admit I never read the Halo books or a whole lot of the current fanfiction. I don't know what others have written and feel I have no responsibility to emulate what others have done. (I'll try to make up for this deficit) This is MY story, but I do hope you like it - if for no other reason than that it is a little different. If you want an example of John-117's sensitivity, however, look no further than the cut scene of the lifepod leaving the Pillar of Autumn when the Marine screams, "I don't want to die out here!" And John-117 puts his hand on his shoulder to calm him. Compassion was obviously not programmed out.
3. Adam is not a deontologist. For example, Einstien was a serious pacifist, but when faced with the possibility of the US losing the war he not only helped with the Manhattan Project, he wrote letters to the president urgining him to pursue atomic bomb technology. People do things that are out of character depending on their circumstances. We often don't understand; it is interesting to explore these extremes.
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Sage Scorpion
10:25 pm | February 25, 2004
Yeah, I picked up on Adam being different, I'm just saying that it's highly unlikely. The MC is not a stereotype, he is a representative of the whole. We're talking about a group of people who, even after about 50% of them were too deformed to even walk, still wanted to do their duty, even though they are completely crippled for life. They are bred and engineered to be the same. This is to improve cohesion in tactical situations. They are the same. And yes, they could have changed it for this new prototype, but why? If they want him to be a frontline warrior, why allow his mind to question the righteosness of it. Why mess with something that works?
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JJiggssaw
9:00 pm | February 25, 2004
I read Dubbo's Demise, CoLd, but nothing more yet...
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JJiggssaw
8:51 pm | February 25, 2004
OK Jon M that is a great point. The stereotype of the SPARTAN is the Master Chief. Just because John never backs from a fight unless he MUST retreat doesn't mean that other SPARTANs are so eager, especially a prototype and a different generation of (here I go with the caps lock again) SPARTAN. So who knows...
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Jon M... a.k.a. The Flu
4:43 pm | February 25, 2004
I could answer you Sage Scorpion by saying that a) there are things about Adam you either didn't understand from the story or b) there are things about Adam that you don't understnad yet. I could also say that you missed the point about the fact that he was a prototype and as such may not have the same sensibiltiies as a current generation Spartan. Also, his abilities may have nothing to do with battle. You'll just have to wait and see.
I could answer you this way, but I prefer to answer in the way that JRR Tolkien answered a Fan Reader who pointed out several discrepancies among the LOTR series to him. He said, (and I'm paraphrashing) "Madam, any problems of consistently are intentional inaccuracies of the author's imagination."
In other words, thank you for reading, and thank you even more for commenting, but if you want to see what motivates Adam, you'll have to just wait, read and see.
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Sage Scorpion
4:29 pm | February 25, 2004
I agree with JJigg in that you are an eloquent writer, but some of your information is just wrong. You are completely missing the mindset of a SPARTAN. Any true SPARTAN would consider it a humilation if he was assigned to be a doctor instead of a warrior. It would be the other way around, with Adam being ordered to go be a surgeon somewhere, feeling humilated and depressed, and then turning out to be a great surgeon, better than he was a warrior. But for a SPARTAN to "discover" that he has amazing combat power and abilities is like a human discovering that he has fingers. Any SPARTAN would be leaping at the chance to get back out to the front, even if he had had all of his limbs amputated, plus a labotomy or two. It's just who they are. I hate to rip on you like that, but
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CoLd BlooDed
3:56 pm | February 25, 2004
Lol JJigg, have you read the first two chapters of my latest series yet?
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JJiggssaw
1:03 pm | February 25, 2004
This story really stands out of the crap that swamps (no offence) the HBO fanfic. You are an eloquent, captivating writer. Keep it up. This has got to be one of the first reviews that I haven't given any tips since Forced Betrayal. Nice work.
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