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Fan Fiction

Comments for 'Dust and Echoes [H&R 4]'

Alpha Lance
8:56 pm | September 16, 2003
That was great JB, but I don't think you should put out the word stactic, you could just put this down - or for a longer one. You could go to font and copy down and put it down like this for exsample,

"-we need-backup right--."

But write whatever you want, and keep up the great work. And like Wado, going to read the other one.
7:41 pm | September 16, 2003
Good stuff Jilly and where have you been young lady?...LOL

I'd say keep up the writing but it looks like already your next story is posted so I'll have to comment there.

In this particular story, the beginning was well written and probably will give some MC fans the heeby jeevies (or how ever that is spelled) because the MC is supposed to not act strangely around women (in other words, they are soldiers just like him) so if shouldn't matter if it is a male or female marine about to take a shower. But then again, I like it when different interpretations of the MC are given. Heck I do that a lot myself.

The end of the story fit in nicely with the Halo 2 trailer. It's a shame that you rushed through the whole Covenant ship thing. I think there could have been an excellent story just in that part.

And just for laughs, what did Cortana mean by:

"We saved hundreds of life by destroying the Covenant armada and the Flood. Imagine what would have happened if the Flood had been allowed to get off of Halo?"

So what makes me laugh is Cortana's problem with counting. If "hundreds of lives" were saved, who were they? Everyone died on Halo didn't they? And if it means the hundreds of lives that could have been killed later, I would think it would be millions or billions of lives saved, not hundreds.

That's all for now. Going to go read the next one.