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Comments for 'Fall of the covenant' |
J-117
5:28 am | March 5, 2004
ok dude, I am speechless and laughing my ass off at the same time, talk to the uber fanfiction writers here, like me, cold blooded, agent shade for example ok, and we'll try to help u.
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CoLd BlooDed
4:32 am | March 5, 2004
Yeah (cunt), check out Battle of Nagridrac.
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Sage Scorpion
2:53 am | March 5, 2004
Jet, don't. Don't start insulting us. Go check out what happened to BullsEye and Fig over in "Battle for Nagidrac".
And you're approaching this all wrong. You don't write fanfics to prove something to people. You've already made several bad ones, and I just don't see your next one getting any better. Come on man. You know better than this.
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The Collector
11:32 pm | March 4, 2004
*Sniff* *Sniff* i dunno it lacks that one thing that would make it great... I cant place it... Is it form, soul, pazzaz, or just plain old readability. Not bad and if you seperated the big blocks of paragraphs and inserted a couple more descriptions, it and i mean "it" could be better. Good luck bro/girl and take MC's Cousin idea to heart. Dont just toss us stories that aint fit for your dog to eat.
:)
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CoLd BlooDed
10:54 pm | March 4, 2004
I don't think calling us cunts will help your story career.
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Jetboogieman
7:07 pm | March 4, 2004
I'll show you i'll show all of you cunts just what the fan fiction is all about
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Jetboogieman
7:07 pm | March 4, 2004
I'll show all of you f£$$£s just what a story is you just wait
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Mainevent
1:45 am | March 4, 2004
School has led to a drought of good fan fiction. Wait til summer, wait til summer...
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Sage Scorpion
1:32 am | March 4, 2004
Dude, haven't we already gone through this with "Life of a grunt"? Stop writing. This is beyond constructive criticism. It's too late for that. You keep writing poor stories, and people keep giving you advice, but you stubbornly don't listen to it, and your stories never get any better. Whatsoever. So really. I hate to be mean, but writers like you are what has led to a drought of good fanfiction. Whatever happened to "The Seventh Battalion", or "All Roads Lead to Sol"? Those were amazing. *nostalgic sigh* Ah well.
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Jetboogieman
7:09 pm | March 3, 2004
actually to all readers im sorry I mistitled it this is the second intallment to
The Fall of the Covenant
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Hunter_Killer
1:11 pm | March 3, 2004
[Sarcastic] Good Grammer, man =)[/Sarcastic]
j/k, the thing was Ok but DO BETTER ON 2ND INSTALLMENT OR I WILL BITE OF YOUR HEAD! =)
Have a nice day.
-H_K
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Sentinel
12:33 pm | March 3, 2004
I know, and way to many grammer problems. Like the misuse of "there", "their", and "they're".
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someone that you dont know
2:39 am | March 3, 2004
this one is much better than your other one at least....
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CoLd BlooDed
1:11 am | March 3, 2004
I write stories for the public AND self pride, because it's something I really love to do.
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CoLd BlooDed
1:07 am | March 3, 2004
Uh...Jet, sorry to say, but this wasn't very good. Below par. You can't just write along with what the audience wants, you need to make a storyline and make it good. Your format is...wierd, really wierd, it seems like you change from past tense to present, etc. Short and simple stories usually blow, too, because they don't give much interest or excitement.
Please, perfect (or at least improve) your writing skills.
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Alias (Nick Kang)
11:28 pm | March 2, 2004
No, that definetly IS NOT the way to write. That just makes it vague. And you need to use commas. You know, those things that look like this: ,
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Jetboogieman
7:11 pm | March 2, 2004
OK well ive alwaysliked writing short an simple stories
Now I know I dont put much descrition in but I ve always thought that the best way to make the audience happy is to let them make thier own description so you can decide how the pelican was being shot down or how many covenant there were
In the end I do these stories for you the public not for selfe pride
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MC's Cousin
4:05 pm | March 2, 2004
So so, but it really wasn't that intersting. It didn't sound that realistic. You need to get the detail in there and work on flow a lot. Preview it and read through it a couple times before you submit it. Have a friend read it. I can't stress those point enough. Don't just toss us a story that you though up in the middle of Biology class, make sure you develope it through the course of your series. God Luck.
Signing Off
MCC
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