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Comments for 'Halo: The MCconto Cronicles 1' |
crashedwarthog
1:53 am | August 3, 2003
i'll sat this: confusing! lol sorry but there were just a few parts that i couldn't quite grasp. An exelent story line though, just try to slow down and describe it a bit better, and berconius was right there were a few words there that weren't quite right. "sayes" should be 'says' or 'said'. Anyway i'm rambling. 9/10=storyline 5/10=grammer n stuff
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Frensa Geran
11:15 am | August 1, 2003
Run-on sentences are sentences that never end and they keep going and going without puncuation and it really is bad to do so don't do it because I had this brother who did it and he died in the war because of the sentences and it got really really bad just like this sentence here.
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JCDenton
8:31 am | August 1, 2003
ok I know what I must change in the other parts and this one in the future. Part 4 is just started and I must change up Part 3 then. ok stand by that takes a little longer.
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JCDenton
8:31 am | August 1, 2003
ok I know what I must change in the other parts and this one in the future. Part 4 is just started and I must change up Part 3 then. ok stand by that takes a little longer.
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JCDenton
5:11 pm | July 31, 2003
thanks for all the comments! Ive learned a lot of it. I changed it further and in the 2nd part I posted here I changed it. I am making part 3 now and I got it all written on paper allready. enjoy it all and please give comments on all the other parts! thanks!
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JCDenton
5:11 pm | July 31, 2003
sry, but what is run-ons? never heardof the WORD... (i'm dutch, sry for that)
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Jinkaiden-XI
11:47 am | July 31, 2003
Very good, except for the hundreds of errors.
Now, the run-ons were annoying and the misuse of words was confusing. The idea is great and the plot seems worthwhile.
Now, I am curious as to know if you prefer to use 'MCconto' to begin and end sentences instead of "MCconto", then I suppose I can live with that, even though I have read few books from English writers (Who tend to start sentences like that) but please capitalize. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. It seems so incomplete without it.
Just work on the grammar, spelling and punctuation, and you have a great story on your hands.
Jinkaiden-XI
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monitor101
6:27 pm | July 30, 2003
Pretty cool denton I'm glad you included the Andromeda galaxy I got some ideas for my fanfic the virus from the book The Andromeda strain.
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Alpha Lance
4:42 pm | July 29, 2003
Frist thing the Truth & Reconciliation is a
name of a ship,not class.And two some parts
didn't last long.But it was good 9.0/10.0
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Hidden Assassin
3:00 pm | July 29, 2003
I concure.
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Bean
11:56 am | July 29, 2003
Deus ex roxxx!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok now I am going to read your fanfic
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Hidden Assassin
11:31 am | July 29, 2003
The grammar and capitolization mistakes made it a little hard to follow, but it's a good story none the less.
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Berconius
2:20 am | July 29, 2003
Ow.
You should keep trying but you're story telling has many run-on sentences. The plot and such are really quite good but you aught to slow down and describe the story to us in more detail.
I don't believe that your vacobulary is lacking nor your choice of words. However, you need to make to character interaction much more smooth. Also look out for the use of your words. "standed" should be "stood", for example.
It could be much worse. Just slow down, proofread, and let other people take a peep at it for suggestions and such.
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Sarge
1:24 am | July 29, 2003
Your grammar is very bad and your choice of words is kinda enh the first paragraph was...bad. But do keep trying.
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