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Comments for 'Titan - Chapter 2' |
Anonymous
6:59 am | May 24, 2004
preggo an
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Arch
12:00 pm | August 6, 2002
like promised, we got a bloodbath! Thanks Jay! Anyways, its pretty good. And like Wado said, it demonstrated the chaos quite nicely. But, yeah you might wanna reread it before sending to edit out any major mistakes. Nice job, however.
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Jaywhit10
1:06 pm | August 4, 2002
Yeah i noticed that, really the only ones i noticed that you could get confused on were the longswords flying around.
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Nike
11:00 am | August 4, 2002
Your story's pretty good. Few mistakes.
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Wado
1:01 am | August 4, 2002
Since you asked for more comments, here goes. I thought the action was good. I think you did a good job demonstrating the chaos of battle. I did however get confused. Just a suggestion, instead of calling ships by their class, maybe refer to them by battle group or function. You could just say Alpha squadron instead of longswords to help cut down on the chatter. Other than that a few mistakes but keep it up.
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Jaywhit10
10:03 pm | August 3, 2002
Does anyone like to post comments on my stories anymore, comeon can i have some more comments
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Jaywhit10
7:03 am | August 3, 2002
They are doing that now, decent in space ground is a different story. I didn't reread it this time cause im a little time crunched since im going to be away from my computer for 2 weeks.
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saturn
9:07 pm | August 2, 2002
i like it jay. I'm happy to see that my homeworld is putting up a decent fight so far and not letting the terrans have it too easy. Just one, you should reread the story one more time before sending it.
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