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Comments for 'The Hell Of War Through The Eyes Of A Marine :Part 2' |
the master of your omega, the beging of your end.
3:17 am | November 11, 2003
vector40!!!!!!! wat r u? a teacher? if your not, get a job as 1! jay's story is great as it is!!!
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the master of your omega, the beging of your end.
3:02 am | November 11, 2003
It is a great story. you should write a book called "8 rounds for a pistol". it should be 'bout the master chief. it should hav something like, umm, the chief pointing an m6d pistol at an elite that is badly wounded and it is laying at his boots. he shud point the pistol at it's head and say something like, " i'm gonna blast your brains straight to hell." it is great. u could get a job at bungie designing HALO 3. P.S. THE GRAMMER SUCKS TO HELL but that's not my buissnes. my grammer also sucks to hell. still, its good.
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max3949
8:51 pm | March 29, 2002
FIX THE DARN GRAMMER. otherwise it's great. hey nobody's perfect, ya.
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Guy
7:54 pm | March 16, 2002
Nice...
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Jaywhit10
7:21 am | March 16, 2002
Thank you people for posting things im very happy that people read mine and i thank you fro being supportive i Am going to make a part 3 but ive only got an idea so its not really finished yet thanks
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vector40
3:06 am | March 16, 2002
First of all, I don't think that anybody here, quite frankly, has the right to complain about grammar - not with theirs.That said, no, the grammar isn't perfect, but it's better than some, and an improvement... and that's all we can ask for. Thanks for indenting, BTW :) Best to treat these like something you would for school, Jay - proofread it, edit it, and revise it until it looks pretty polished. You don't have to make it gorgeous, but just cleaning it up with one or two drafts always helps immensely - for anybody. It's not nearly as fun that way, is it? :) But yep, even fan fiction can be a bit of work. Fortunately, if you keep at it, the "little" work becomes "really little," you get better at it, and soon you'll be spitting the things out like a machine gun and fixing things as you go. But one thing at a time... :) Nice job. -v
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killa_snypa7
2:41 am | March 16, 2002
calm down...geez, ok, your grammar does SUCK but i am not saying anything...at least there is puncuation...keep em coming, and lay off of his case "Unknown"
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Jaywhit10
10:14 pm | March 15, 2002
OK I KNOW MY GRAMMER SUCKS YOU DON'T have to tell me about it god thats one thing im bad at and i don't have a xbox and I play Halo it my friend's house which is almost never cause im in trouble so just layoff the little things this is my first time writting something big like this but at least i added puntuation and im in middle school for your information OK im sorry for being like this im just been pissed of lately and i am goin to make a part 3 which is shorter then this thanks Jaywhit10
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Unknown
8:48 pm | March 15, 2002
Hey man watch the writting. What are you in third grade or something like that.Besides the grammar the story is very cool.Keep em' coming.P.S. Marines DO NOT die from three shoots of plasma no matter what weapon. Haven't you played the game.
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eL diAbLo
7:18 pm | March 15, 2002
holy crap it has punctuation. havent read it yet but the concept of the last one was really cool. hopefully this one follows the same fate of the last one. keep em coming. btw if you read this louis can you make all of the chapters in a series into one. it gets kind of annoying to have to go through a whole bunch. i print them out at the library and it wastes a lot more paper. it might be asking for too much but it would help some people.
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