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Comments for 'A John Before Halo: Part 15'

2:28 am | December 8, 2003
shade shade shade, ur really dumb u know y, if u even cared to take a look at the fuckin time. u would see that this is in 2436, now aint that a long time before the spartans even fucking existed, yes.
4:47 am | November 30, 2003
Agent Shade
10:48 pm | November 29, 2003
not the best J-117. The story is okay i guess, but your overall story structure really needs a lot of work.

"Hello John""Hello Ghost"- it's so hard reading your story, because you always make the quotes inside the paragraph. Basic writing skills, new paragraph whenever someone speaks:
"Hello John"
"Hello Ghost"- something like that

the Spartans don't swear a lot either. in fact, they rarely talk to individuals, except for the Master Chief, but even then, he rarely speaks...he gives an order, or a comment, then that's it...he doesn't say something like "You fucking piece of shit, get the fuck out of here before i put a fucking bullet in your fucking head" quite frankly, because Spartans tend to be stealthy (not a word probably) they wouldn't talk at all and kill all those who oppose them

work on those, makes the story easier and more professional to read. 5/10
2:08 am | November 15, 2003
bad sux man, J-117 ur stories rock!!!
1:38 am | November 13, 2003
if u dont like it too fucking bad, so fuck off and leave me alone and how did i rip off XXX, oh that gun, i only got the bullet idea from XXX and its still apimp gun so fuck off :P and the gores for the people who hate plot and like action again :P
Alpha Lance
12:26 pm | November 12, 2003

God bless America

Alpha Lance

P.S. Sorry for the lack of review, but you know I already have reviewed your story.
4:52 am | November 12, 2003
don't like it

first off its: God Damnit, no goddamn it. second, whats with the gun being like in triple X? thats a stupid movie, don't copy dumb ideas. uhhhh, theres a lot of swearing, why so much? nobody knows...gore? nobody knows about that either...
10:30 pm | November 11, 2003
thx dude.
10:30 pm | November 11, 2003
9:27 pm | November 11, 2003
good stuff?..........since shit was taken
1:52 am | November 11, 2003
1:52 am | November 11, 2003
good shit