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Comments for 'Wrong or Right Part 2:Insertion'

10:18 pm | February 6, 2003
well actually i did put indents in my paragraphs i only pressed space 2 times instead of making it look like i didnt put indents in.
10:02 pm | February 6, 2003
Hey! You commented about my story not having indents and yours doenst either :P. Just wanted to point that out.

Other than that the story is fine.
7:02 pm | February 6, 2003
Hey I think if you indent your paragraphs it will look better and Death is a name, so watch for places you didn't capitalize it. As for the story, it was good, a bit too much like a cakewalk for me though, but then again, if you are really good then you make it look easy, right.

My suggestions are that you keep writing. The story seems almost there, just seems to be missing something, maybe just a bit of a challenge or some foreshadowing of things to come. I'm sure you've got something really cool coming up. Keep going, your writing is good, it's the story that I think could be a bit better.