halo.bungie.org

They're Random, Baby!

Fan Fiction


Comments for 'Wrong or right part 6'



harley
7:42 pm | August 3, 2003
Did I write a Banshee took down a longsword damn I'm sorry guys if I did whoops but anyways can I have feed back about how my story not grammer but yeah sorry about the grammer mistakes real sorry.
scope
3:50 pm | August 3, 2003
Hey alpha I already mentioned the whole longsword vs banshee thing. Just look at the very first post.
crashedwarthog
10:35 am | August 3, 2003
didn't u see wat i wrote alpha lance? loosen up!
Alpha Lance
4:32 am | August 2, 2003
How can a banshee take down a longsword?It
almost impossible,the lowngsword are twice as
fast and twice as powerful.A singal longsword
can take out atleast 30 banshees,and a longsword
are huge.Its like a hunter compared to a small
2 year old child.Get your facts in order because
a longsword will totally kick a banshees ass!

P.S. Like Hawk7886 said,'PROOFREAD' really
the grammer sucks.Oh yes,the keyword is
'PROOFREAD'got that!
crashedwarthog
5:18 am | August 1, 2003
loosen up guyz, therez heapz of storiez that are shitter than this(no offense harley) take mine 4 example, neway harley, cut out the bad grammer and this was kewl:)
Agent Shade
5:13 am | August 1, 2003
yeah, sorry Harley, but this story had way to many grammar problems to be enjoyable...indenting, you switched between tenses a few times, punctuations, however, i will defend you on the broke part.

yes, you did use broke inproperly, however, if you had written it down as if it were the marine talking, that that is understandable, since not all marines have excellent grammar during combat, so that could've been why you said broke instead of broken.

you really need to proofread your work though 4/10
scope
8:31 pm | July 31, 2003
whoa was I wrong with my last post. The grammer sucks. sry but 6/10
Hawk7886
8:06 pm | July 31, 2003
It's BROKEN not BROKE! It's TO not TOO. Way too many errors for this to be enjoyable. Mostly Grammar and Punctuation. Proofread before you submit. If you don't have a good grasp on the English language, don't submit stories that have alot of errors in them. 4/10
scope
5:15 pm | July 31, 2003
9/10 If a Banshee is in a battle with a Longsword its not really a battle, Banshees have no speed compaired to a Longsword.


bungie.org