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Comments for 'The Missing Spartan: Prolouge' |
Anonymous
12:15 pm | March 23, 2004
I mean wasn't.
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Anonymous
12:08 pm | March 23, 2004
Damn your young. I didn't think that story was that good but maybe you write better than me. Make your story more realistic, on easy if you have a plasma grenade on you you lose half your life, if you have five grenades attached to you you will be dead. I'm younger than you.
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Kyle
12:53 pm | March 10, 2004
halofreak1991 were you at any chance born in 1991?
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Halofreak1991 Halopc daniel
12:24 pm | March 10, 2004
Cortana can get very annoying at times(just read the Halo trilogy).
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Halofreak1991 Halo pc:daniel
12:22 pm | March 10, 2004
My spell checker did not pick up the grammer errors. And I have read all 3 Halo books atleast 5 times.
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Halofreak1991 Halopc daniel
3:13 am | March 10, 2004
yup, March 24th 1991
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CoLd BlooDed
1:41 am | March 10, 2004
Don't pay attention to the spellchecker, it never seems to work. Edit it yourself.
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CoLd BlooDed
1:41 am | March 10, 2004
...and also just because you have read all the Halo books doesn't mean the story was awesome.
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A.P.N JJiggssaw
9:00 pm | March 9, 2004
Lots of Laughs, Hawk, raping the english language... if you want to see english getting raped go to engrish.com. Right, the story. Not too bad, not for a first. Your grammar definetly needs fixing. When you split up your storys like that it becomes confusing and the reader loses interest. Keep trying. That by far is the most important thing, keep trying.
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Anonymous
8:39 pm | March 9, 2004
the beginning was decent but u are new soo i dont want to make u feel bad enough not to write anymore
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Thomas Harper
1:25 pm | March 9, 2004
one more thing, i dont think that the Master Chief would give Cortana to another spartan
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Thomas Harper
12:24 pm | March 9, 2004
no hard feelings hawk7886. jk. =:)
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Thomas Harper
12:15 pm | March 9, 2004
first of all hawk7886, "ur" is short for "your" just to let u no.
back to the story. when i first posted my series of stories i didnt get a whole lot of good things written about my story either so no hard feelings, this is how u learn.
one thing that i found odd about it was the way u keeped on splitting up the story like that, it sorta confused me. check YOUR [you happy now hawk7886] grammar and when YOUR writing a story make sure its ....um....well like it really happened and not...um well its kinda hard to explain.
but let me out it this way, when u write a story try to make it sound like it really happened and describe the action and everything thats going on in the battle scence and i wouldn't suggest splitting up the story like that, try to keep it flowing for awhile and then its ok to start splitting it up here and there. good start though.
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Ajax
12:00 pm | March 9, 2004
Hmmm. How can I put this...that was bad. Very bad. Don't skip whole sections of the story, as in "9000 dead covenant later". And writing is more than people talking to each other. And if anyone got stuck with five plasma grenades, they'd be sent home in a matchbox.
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CoLd BlooDed
5:01 am | March 9, 2004
If you managed to learn how to use a horizantal rule, learn how to use the rest of the code.
I'm suprised, really, at how short this story was, you just seperated the point of views every three sentences. No story should be that short, not even if it is your first.
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CoLd BlooDed
1:12 am | March 9, 2004
Hawk knows what "ur" is short for, he just likes using proper grammar, as do I (in these comment boxes, at least).
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Hawk7886
9:15 pm | March 8, 2004
I find it ironic how someone is commenting on your grammar with 'ur grammar'... It's a message box, not a chat room, it's not hard to write out full words.
As incorrect he is in raping the English language, I would have to agree with him. Your grammar needs a little work, and the writing style is a bit awkward. Try getting a buddy to read over it, and take suggestions/comments from peers.
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gamer02
8:06 pm | March 8, 2004
not bad...
Actually, the story was quite good apart from the spelling and grammatical errors, and the fast, unpunctuated sentences - but that's no biggie.
As long as you keep your ideas flowing in a smooth manner, with all your sentences well constructed, everything will be just fine.
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ToFu
7:05 pm | March 8, 2004
Since ur new, I'll take it easy on u...ur writing is...very unique, I have to say that. But ur story is very...uh strange. U should work alittle more on ur grammar cause it did'nt impress me. And ur Chapter is too short, r atleast I think its a chapter... Read some Fan-Fics and more HALO books to get a better idea of writing a story. Kid I know u can do it, just take ur time and ur'll get it right.
Until then Write brother, write on...
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