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Comments for 'Zero Script: The Untold War of Halo'



MC's cousin
12:00 am | November 30, -0001
Well your writing style is a little off. Sounds like your a ten-year-old kid trying come up with something after seeing the "drop from unkown vessel" movie clip. At least you have an immagination. But leave the rentry stuff up to Bungie, after all, it's what they do.

Signing Off


MCC
Lone Wolf 4001
12:00 am | November 30, -0001
Yeah kid to many splices, that are, interupting the. Piece. Note to critics the splices I so despise and managed to place above are an example. Anyway it could use some work, alot of it. If you truely are 10 then fantastic, at least you are writing for enjoyment, but remember describe every action that goes on as if you were witnessing it.Instead of saying there were gunshots describe it. In the distance,echoes of gunshots pierced the calm evening, the peace before the storm. Not bad, just take into consideration what reviews you get.
Guy in the Hole
12:00 am | November 30, -0001
Good advice, make sure you listen before you end up in a hole (like me)

OH NO!

Back in the Hole!
Guilty Spark
12:00 am | November 30, -0001
Thanks for the advice guys! I'm 12, I'll do what you guys recommended
IAmDelta
12:00 am | November 30, -0001
Yeah man, I wish I had started when I was twelve. Good for you. For a little grammar(don't we all love it), watch out for randomly changing verb tenses (past, present, future), missing articles (a, the, etc.), and vague pronouns. When in doubt, say "the Master Chief", not "he". Also, compound sentences are good and a sign of more advanced writing, but make sure when you connect things they don't sound drawn out (ex. "The grunt screamed, he saw dark green drops coming from its eyes, it was crying.") It would be better as: "The grunt screamed. The Master Chief saw dark green drops coming from its eyes. It was crying." Teachers often will tell you to avoid these short, "see spot run" types of sentences, but it is often the best way to go. Plotwise, you did alright, but I'd recommend staying away from Halo 2 plot, since, as MC's Cousin said, it's what Bungie does. Parting advice: the best way to write well is to read other good writers and learn from them. Good luck.
Jamirus99
12:00 am | November 30, -0001
As Delta said...don't mess with the "in-between" storyline as First Strike has already taken care of that.
PBP
12:00 am | November 30, -0001
Ahhhhhhhh.....
Lone Wolf 4001
12:00 am | November 30, -0001
Talk about pissing me off, I wrote a linking story right after seeing the trailer, damn it. I never finished it, but hell it was pretty good, road to earth I believe it was called
Big Kitty
12:00 am | November 30, -0001
There's no such thing as 3:00 O'clock at night
HEHATEME
12:00 am | November 30, -0001
You're a loser, do you think you're going to succeed in life due to Halo writing skills? You're the kind of guy who will end up dating fat chicks who enjoy Star Trek. You can't spell, your English is about equal to that of a 4 year old Asian. I hope you kill yourself.
Anonymous
12:00 am | November 30, -0001
I think your a loser for explaining all that. I'm an artist not a writer, I just do it for fun. Your going to turn into a guy who starts dating fat chicks and when you fuck them and they'll be to much for you to handle, go buy a dildo you faggot. I sound like a 4 year old Asian? Wow, Go cut off your balls and don't die because I'd like to see you suffer. And that Stark Trek attack is really cliche. So take that cork outta your ass and go write yourself a story about how gay you are. Bitch
MC's Cousin
12:00 am | November 30, -0001
STOW THAT SOLDIERS! If you guys wanna have a pissing contest PLEASE do it somewhere other than HBO. You both need to get over yourselves.

Signing Off


MCC


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