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Comments for 'The Rebellion Chronicles: Number 2' |
Nick Kang
9:23 pm | May 18, 2004
It's okay, just use it in your nesxt one, or else people are gonna start flaming you.
NJK
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Nick Kang
9:23 pm | May 18, 2004
Woops, messed up my sig.
NK
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FUELRODGUN
9:43 pm | May 17, 2004
haha, funny. As for you, Kang, I didn't get see your message until after i posted my second one
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FuManChu
7:28 pm | May 15, 2004
That was, as I would like to start calling it, ok.
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Nick Kang
2:42 pm | May 15, 2004
CODE!!!
I told you what it was in the comments section for the last chapter, but you still don't seem to be using it.
NK
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Darkest90
10:12 pm | May 14, 2004
Remember, this is just an example. I advise you to not copy me, because I am only putting half of a heart into this. Just for context.
"Mitsucha slammed his enormous shield down into the ground, ground it deep, and the gave it one solid punch that made a metallic ringing noise. Such was a derogatory motion among the Po'otes. 'Unshodden death!' he cursed, to accomodate."
Remember to let the Hunters (or Po'otes) ACT like Hunters. They shouldn't act human. Take in mind what we know about them: they have a warrior mentality and nature, they are very aggressive, they are barely tolerant of their Covenant "masters", they are dismissive and contemptuous of their foes, they are very careless for their allies, often risking their lives just to destroy an enemy, as well as their close bonds of brotherhood with each other and their strong ties with their past and culture.
Same goes with all the other races.
You want your reader to read about Covenant. If you want to write with a human perspective, write a Human. Easy as that.
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Mainevent
9:50 pm | May 14, 2004
You can say that a hunter does something, and then liken it to a human reference. Just don't make it the human reference.
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FUELRODGUN
1:44 pm | May 14, 2004
Well, what am i supposed to do, say that the hunter waved his top-right spike at him?
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Darkest90
3:52 am | May 14, 2004
I see you took my advise as well as the names I gave the aliens.
Take note that those were just examples, and that you could have made up names yourself, or just ignored it. Still, its a start.
The starting was kind of tedious and confusing (no offense) as you gave all the aliens new names. I would like to tell you that it needs to be done more subtly than that, but that is an art and skill that is hard to master.
Also, there were a couple of references that are human in nature. "Flipped the birdie." "Son of a b****." "Faghead" are all things Humans would say. Unless you want to make this a comedy, I advise you to come up with different ways Covenant would make fun of each other, or intimidate each other.
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Mastergrunt
1:21 pm | May 13, 2004
Kind of confusing like where the setting is and all.
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