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Comments for 'The Mission Never Given (Pt.1)'

Sage Scorpion
10:03 pm | February 25, 2004
Whoahahahah. Oh. Whoah. Deeeeeppp.

Just one question, though, why would the President be interrogating a Corporal in the back of a busted up old Pelican? The Supreme Commander of the Armed Forces questioning the lowest rank of "officer" in the Corps, basically a Private? About the loss of three soldiers. Just three. When thousands, if not millions are killed each day in the Human/Covenant War. I'm guessing that it would be more like a captain or a major, possibly a colonel, but I wouldn't go any higher. But the President? I don't know if it's supposed to play in later in the story, but if not, I'd recommend that you change that.
MC's Cousin
10:39 pm | February 23, 2004
Had a mellow relaxing feel, kinda. Nice so far, more personal sounding. I suppose I'll keep reading, since it had a fair cliff of an ending.

Signing Off

Frensa Geran
4:36 am | February 23, 2004
Indents, my foe...

I've been directed at using indents since I first arrived here on the Fan Fiction scene. I have never used them, nor plan to. Why? That's a very good question.

11:12 pm | February 22, 2004

The seagulls, the musing, the apocalypses...

That was good.
Agent Shade
10:34 pm | February 22, 2004

seems good, though the overall structure of the story is messed. no indents and paragraphs that should be separated. this is interesting regardless, continue writing