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Comments for 'Apollo - Chapter 1'

2:53 am | February 13, 2002
Heh... well, I'd offer to proofread for you, but... I've tried that before (for Gunship's BlackOps series, over at BG:H), and it's a bitch. Eats up all kinds of time. Maybe once I quit my day job :)
4:18 pm | February 12, 2002
Ugh... spelling, grammer ..dialogue, all those elements keep testing my patience! It's doesn't bear well as I've got some large segments of dialogue coming up in the following chapters;/What I would do for a proofreader! I have terrible lazy eyes once I have written anything ;) If anyone would like to help, I would appreciate it, due credit given of course. I'd rather make it more readable for everyone else than keep the 'glory'... for want of a better word!Anyhows, thanks for the comments. I hope you like the following chapters too.fox
4:25 am | February 12, 2002


Not bad, not bad at'all.

Your dialogue could use a little work... or, at least, some proofreading :), but on the whole, decent stuff. Good detail! That's the foundation of a story, especially a series, as you appear to be working up to.

Keep up the good work,


Smoov B
10:00 pm | February 11, 2002
Definitely some hot concepts in this story. Some of the technical literary aspects aren't as strong (the dialogue especially), but I really like it. I hope to see more from you, especially with your Apollo series!