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Comments for 'Project Sabotage - Part 1' |
monitor101
9:09 pm | October 12, 2003
It was very short and I bunched together so space it out or indent. Besides all that and a few grammer errors the story was good. 7/10 great Hawk is back god help us all.
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ferrex
5:06 am | October 12, 2003
Hate to be a nick nazi, but the author and I are unrelated. ;)
Cheers
ferrex // ferrex AT bungie DOT com
design.halo.bungie
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'Nosolee
4:55 pm | October 11, 2003
Hey Hawk, good to see ya. Fall of Fate part 13 has been submitted, check it out.
Purty good, just pay attention to the comments others made.
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Ferrex
12:32 pm | October 11, 2003
Thanks for the tips guys, yeah I did question putting "Ensued" on there. Hopefully part 2 will be better
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Alpha Lance
5:45 am | October 11, 2003
The writing is to bunch up, try indenting next time too. Also, put space between paragraphs so it will not be all bunch up together. And you don't have to write M.C. like that, just write MC. But it is no biggy, and I thought it was actually good.
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Ishkabibbl
10:24 pm | October 10, 2003
I'm not English expert or anything, but Ensued doesn't look like it was used correct.
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Hawk7886
9:39 pm | October 10, 2003
"Your late." Ensued Commander Wilkins who was giving the briefing.
'Your' should be 'You're'
'wart-hog' should be 'Warthog'
Final grade: Meh.
5/10
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