They're Random, Baby!

Fan Fiction

Comments for 'Cry for a Hero Part 2: Wish it Were a Dream'

you r stupid
12:54 pm | November 17, 2003
you suck ass
12:31 pm | February 20, 2003
Funny? uh, i think you replied in the wrong fan fic...:)
4:57 pm | November 28, 2002
Haha this story's funny
8:20 pm | August 19, 2002
ok if you dont like mechs ill just say i dont like plasma machine guns, and now im not going to read the series that has those in it.....jeese that would be stupid, enjoy the story, besides...Mechworrior sucks, lol.
9:47 pm | August 15, 2002
This series sucks you know why cause it has mechs why is it here huh?
1:28 pm | August 15, 2002
Yes, I used two <br> html tags to add two line feeds between paragraphs.
1:10 pm | August 15, 2002
i thought that there was only gonna be 3 parts to the Mis-Adventures of MC.... i only just started reading this series today, and frankly, i don't like the idea of mechs. this is HALO, not Mechwarrior or Battletech. otherwise, i like the way you have begun to write, because it makes you look like you CAN write lol! nice work el_halo_diablo
2:56 am | August 15, 2002
I shot out part 3 yesterday in hope of seeing it today before I leave on my trip. Thanks for the suggestions, especially Wado for the insight. I just like the reader to get a good sight of what in h3ll they're looking at :). I think I will keep this SERIES(thats how you spell it Vero ;D). And I tried to improve on my paragraphing on the third one, but the subject seems to run on the same line. I hope you guys will enjoy part 3(which is a little larger than the others), and in all this writing chaos, I'll sit-back and write Mis-adventures of master chief part: 5. WHOPEE!
2:26 am | August 15, 2002
how the heck do you do that paragraph stuff on the comment things? HTML? like the

tag and stuff?

1:17 am | August 15, 2002
The ending is my favorite part too. Nice job with the action and good attention to details. I see something really nasty happening to Johnson, that scum bag. Write more please. Hey man, just a few suggestions in addition to what Knightmare commented, in some cases you really don't need to state every detail, let the reader use some imagination. For example,

The other Warthog screeched around the corner right behind us. I pulled out my MD6 sidearm and aimed it straight at the driver's head. I saw his Eyes widen and him screaming at the sniper to shoot me, but he had a hard time because of his injuries. I fired a straight shot into the drivers face...

You could write "...the injured sniper braced his S2 against his bloody arm as he struggled to get a shot off. I fired one aimed shot directly at the driver's face. Blood sprayed from the back of his head as the Warthog spun out of control..."

or something like that. Just a suggestion. Keep up the good work. Take care.
10:48 pm | August 14, 2002
Damn Johnson!!!!I was growing on the men that he killed. Curse him to hell!!! HEHE, J/K, your action are pretty tight. Keep this sersis(i have no fu&*ing idea how to spell that)going. Can't wait for the next one to come out~~~
8:54 pm | August 13, 2002
Thanks a lot! I love that ending(I'm obsessed with irony as you can see)
11:26 am | August 13, 2002
I like it! a couple of errors.. use more paragraphs too