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Comments for 'Derailed Final Part'

11:42 pm | November 14, 2003
Not something I'll worry about either way. Don't really know what else to say, besides that I hate writing one sentence comments. And three sentence ones.
1:41 pm | November 13, 2003
I might possibly tackle that project but I find it very unlikely, lest I were to cram it all into a single story. I'm already writing two series at once here, soon to be three, along with two shorts that were left hanging on the edge. But maybe, just maybe, I'd find the time.

Then again, I don't really feel I have the right to write about Lunar 4... it was your creation, your idea, your world. Maybe this idea will stop and die right here.

Semper Fi

12:31 pm | November 13, 2003
I find the easiest way to deal with characters giving me fits is to kill them off. But I always have a reason for killing them off. In Homeworlds for example, I had introduced a character earlier in the story, but after that had no real place to go with him. So he sorta dissolved. But after the tragic demise of Lucky and Devilfish, the two great longsword pilots, I found a new way to put him in my story again.
5:12 am | November 13, 2003
Arrels, Ghandians (Continent is called Ghandia)

Matheans, Sighpians (Continent Sighp)
4:54 am | November 13, 2003
Both the East and the West have servicement in the UNSC, but none are allowed in space. In one of my earlier fanfics (Stowaway) I said that the UNSC imposed a strict no fly zone around Lunar 4 because they were using space to launch missile attacks on eachother, killing millions over time. Lunar 4 has a small UNSC operated Navy, just a few dozen Legaccy class cruisers (unique to Lunar 4).

Really, the peopel that hate eachother the most are the people who lost something in the wars between the East and the West. It got to the point where in 2525 they were fighting because their parents did. However, after 2525 when they made 'peace' because of the arrival of the Covenant no one was dying any more. The ocean between them stopped most hate crimes, and anyone who wasn't born before 2525 had no reason to hate eachother. Granted around half of the population still did (especially those old enough to be in power) hate eachother passionatly they were on the road to healing.

Then something happened sevend ays before the arrival of the Covenant. When the moon passed through the rings again it unearthed an odd facility. Both the East and the West conducted massive bombing raids on the monolith, but it seemed to be made of some unknown material. Both readied their armies, lest it be some enemy base. The day before the invasion one of the scientists in the place realized what the structure truly was, a fragment of a Halo that had once orbited Lunar 4 when it was a single star system. By that time, though, no one cared. The East was the first to spot the oncoming Covenant ships, and didn't tell anyone because of political tensions with the West. As a result of that secret the Matheans were slaughtered when the Covenant suddenly appeared, whereas the East lasted very long, around four days, five in some cases.

If you do chose to write the fanfic about the Mathean, you might want to know a few sentences about their herritage. In 23 something Lunar 4 was founded on a gold rush. It seemed as if gold was common on the planet. People packed up their lives to move to the West of Lunar 4, and soon found that gold was so abundant that it was worth less than the dirt they dug up to get to it. Immediatly the poverty formed war, and the West was lead by a Hitler-esque man named Matheus Marx (the first Mathean). He turned the Arrels into the new Jews, being that they had a more comercial democratic society, and attacked them. He was ousted from power by a UNSC attack fairly soon, but continued as a belief for hundreds of genocidal years...

God is that long.

Feel free to write the thing if you want, just don't invite MC or any of the PoA, to do so would be unholy.
3:45 am | November 13, 2003
Hmm... interesting, Dispraiser. I felt for that guy in Fall of Lunar 4 (a pre-Kaz?) even though I didn't read the whole story. Also, do they have Matheans in the UNSC? I think it would be fun to write a piece about a Western man in the service trying to come to terms with his Mathean co-commander (both Sergeants, maybe?) in order to perform their duties to the fullest potential, rather than being retarded in their differences. I'd ask to write it, but I don't think I posess a good enough knowledge of the true feelings of the Matheans and Westerners towards each other.

Well, that's what I think.

Semper Fi


PS: Did I spell Matheans right and are they in the West and Awwek in the East? I don't feel like going back to dig up the information.
Sergeant B
1:21 am | November 13, 2003
Man, I fell really sad. I liked the guy. Well, nice ending. I'm...speechless...speechless of a grat man's death. 10/10.
3:18 am | November 12, 2003
Heh, the Martes relationship was my biggest problem throughout the whole thing. He appeared out of nowhere as a static character, but grew to overwhelm other characters that I wanted to emphasize, namely Warner. Towards the end of the fanfic I found him getting oddly close with the colonel. His goodbye speech was originally much longer than the final draft, but throughout the whole thing I kept feeling like they were going to kiss, so I clipped a lot of it out to make them less... Homosexual. That's now how it was between them. Martes makes it to the city, btw. In the original rendition of the story the dropship lands with eight Spartans before his dying eyes.

I'll write up a little thing like that for ya Walker... Actually, believe it or not, look at my very first fanfic and scroll WAY down to the end (it is very long) and then take a look at the last few paragraphs... You'll find it an odd coincidence in regards to what you're saying now.
Or would there indeed.
1:48 am | November 12, 2003
Mainevent, I read it.

ANd I'll have to say, he fought the good fight.

I give it a 10/10 for fun.
And a 9/10 for damn i'm tired.
10:59 pm | November 11, 2003

This one expressed the finality of death in war more than any other. You'd expect some guy like this, a hero, to die in a blazing fireball of glory, but in truth he died like any soldier would. He lived through a dozen battles, a dozen campaigns, killed hundreds of thousands of Covenant, and finally completed his original objective--but he died anyway.

I think you should add an appendix to this series written by Martes. Call it "The Soldier", "Kaz", "The Colonel is Dead" or whatever you want to, but just write it. It would truly be Derailed's final part.

Unless, of course, Martes' Pelican goes up in flames and the nukes onboard level the whole city of Awwek. In which case there'd be no one left, would there?

Semper Fi