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Fan Fiction

Comments for '5 Way War Part I'

1:05 am | March 9, 2004
AHHHH! this book is crap! i managed to read it all and it sucked! it was poorly written tripe. My 7 year old brother can write better. screw constuctive critisism. THIS "BOOK" is a pile of $h17. MC survives the covie onslaught on halo and IS KILLED BY A FISH?WTF...
2:47 pm | June 8, 2003
This was the worst written, worst designed, worst coordinated story I have ever had the misfortune of reading.
7:07 pm | February 7, 2003
YAA, WE GOT EM! Good story, can't believe MC got killed by a fish. lol
Dirty Commie
9:31 pm | January 10, 2003
Try using more commas and combining sentences together. The story felt like I was riding in a car and the driver would hit the gas, slam on the brakes, hit the gas, slam on the brakes. Overall, pretty good.
Unearthly Being
11:42 pm | January 8, 2003
Kool I really like it. HAHAHAHAHA funny stuff.
4:18 am | January 4, 2003
what do you mean the flood don't wear clothes? The infected humans wear pants but there tattered and ripped. Why did Bungie had to make the flood look so nasty?!
1:57 am | January 3, 2003
If you only read the first comedy part of this, read on, I only put that on to appeal to comedy people, because i want everyone to like my story, though apperantly it made most people upset, I'm sorry, I won't do it again.I WON'T DO IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3:56 pm | December 31, 2002
Iggins i see your point. I also am a huge fan of the ender series. (Where do you think i got the name Locke?)
Obsesive reader
6:29 pm | December 30, 2002
Enders game is the greatest book ever second only to Fall of Reach.
1:12 am | December 30, 2002
Ha...Ha. Ok, fast, small, and I am confused as to how you can even possibly write a story like this. Overall 8.0 out of 10. Not bad. Keep writing and work on sentence and paragraph structure.
11:17 pm | December 29, 2002
...And I agree that Ender's Game is a kickass book.
11:15 pm | December 29, 2002
I'm trying to give constructive critism, instead of saying "this sucks" or "this is good".
9:00 pm | December 29, 2002
What's with that "Iggins" character? I think he's quoting a movie critic!
2:50 am | December 29, 2002
jackhale, yes i did get the name Demosthenes from the story Enders Game. P.S. ENDERS GAME IS A VERY VERY VERY GOOD BOOK. I wonder if Locke got the name from Enders Game also.^_^
2:26 am | December 29, 2002
Very good i must admit.I enjoyed comedy part.^0^ ^o^ ^0^ ^_^
2:26 am | December 29, 2002
This is a very good story. I agree with Locke. (Locke urs was good too) Demosthenes, did you get the idea for the name demosthenes form the story Enders Game????????????
2:26 am | December 29, 2002
This is me the author of this series. Part II will be MUCH MUCH Better than this one. Iggins Spartan 3, this is so ya know. ^_^
2:26 am | December 29, 2002
Dear fans of my story. I admit part one wasn't very good, but part II is MUCH MUCH BETTER!!!!!!!!!!
9:54 pm | December 28, 2002
7:38 pm | December 28, 2002
The main problem here is the flow of the story, your sentences often don't fit together and it makes the pace of the story choppy, and therefore hard to read. Another problem is that many of the lines take away from the seriousness of the story, and while they are funny, they take away rather than add to its overall quality.
7:05 pm | December 28, 2002
Demosthenes is a gifted author, and i am startled to see that my pen name has inspired a character. I will definatley promote this book in part 4 of my saga.
Spartan 3
6:36 pm | December 28, 2002
This was alright but it went by to fast.