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Comments for 'the serch for spartans'



Awacar
7:07 pm | November 29, 2003
Sorry, I typed a little bit too fast. ow=now
Awacar
10:12 am | November 29, 2003
Dean, I feel as I need to cheer you up a little bit. As they say, no one is perfect on their first try. I for one, can't even read my own first fanfics, ow they're atleast readable (depending on what you mean). Take the critisism as advice, learn HBO code, and you'll be just fine
hornet34
8:05 am | November 29, 2003
Oh, and is it so hard for everyone to proof-read these forum post that they submit? Seriously? I only ask in this forum because everyone has written more or less correctly and I won't offend anyone, but some of the other comment sections are abomidable. It takes just as long to go back and re-type your message so its legible as it does to just edit it once and submit. Sorry, I'm nit-picking here.
hornet34
7:59 am | November 29, 2003
Oww, are you going to pay for my new glasses? You really have a long way to go, a LONG WAY to go. Break it up into paragraphs, proof-read, don't write your whole story in less than ten minutes (NO ONE can do that, I don't care if your last name is Tolkein or Poe). These are just a couple suggestions. Don't give up, though. Like Wado says, every n00b gets 7 tries before he has to give up (7 really is the magic number here). Just don't turn in any more stories like this. Please, just put some time into your work and be proud of it.
Echo
3:54 am | November 29, 2003
I think everyone before me has covered all the main points. But i just had to ask you if you deliberatly spelt it wrong to get pity?
Break up the text
spell check - if in doubt dont spell phonetically
learn to write interestingly - dont go into loads of detail on weapons like some retards do

and have fun doing it
witelancer
7:18 pm | November 28, 2003
oh wow... this is crap. pure crap. I don't like flamers... but omg, learn to break up the block of text into paragraphs.
Please Capitalize.
This is crap. once again.
Ajax
6:27 pm | November 28, 2003
This story would have been a lot better if you had done it right. For your next story, break it up into paragraphs. Four sentences or so per paragraph. Everytime someone speaks its a new paragraph. Use spell check. And try and explain the characters and what's happening. Go into more detail. Once you have that down you can work on a good story. :)
Capo Rip
1:34 pm | November 28, 2003
I really wish the admins weren't so generous in what they accepted, really I do. To the author: you do realise you're using someone else's HDD space to store this... collection of words, so the least you could do is learn to write and make your story WORTH the magnetic media it sits on...

Sorry if this is TOO critical, but... anger... rising...
Ishkabibbl
3:20 am | November 28, 2003
My. . .eyes, can't take blocks of text!
CoLd BlooDed
3:20 am | November 28, 2003
God this story is worse than the other.... first u mite want to spell the title right. Second this story sucks, learn to write and maybe you can actually make a "decent" story.
Mainevent
2:57 am | November 28, 2003
Two lines into it and I already know I'm right.
Mainevent
2:57 am | November 28, 2003
I'm venturing to guess simply by the title that I'll give this story less than par...


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