2:48 am | December 3, 2003
An okay story for a newbie. There are a few things I would like to note:
One: There wasnt a very detailed description of the land around them.
Two: The Covenant seemed like real push-overs. Play the game on Legendary, and you'll see how mean the Covies can get.
Third: I know this is just starting off, but try and establish closer reader-charactor bonds. The main charactor seemed lack in personality and was hard to simpathize with.
You have talent, just fix the things above and you'll be a great writer. Also, read a few other fanfic stories around here and learn from them. I highly reccomend the works of myself, Walker, Alpha Lance, Hunter_Killer, Dispraiser, Mainevent, and CovieKilla, to name only a few. Explore previous fanfiction pages for yourself to see what you can find. Just trying to give you some friendly advice.
Overall I give this story an 8/10, needs work, but shows potential.