halo.bungie.org

They're Random, Baby!

Fan Fiction


Comments for 'The Strive to Survive (Chapter 5: Assisting the Evolution)'



CoLd . . .
5:11 am | March 28, 2004
Where's MCC with his usual comments? :S
CoLd BlooDed
3:56 pm | March 11, 2004
Any other comments relating to the story?
IAmDelta
4:18 am | March 10, 2004
Just a personal preference, but I write in MS Word and put in all the formatting I want, then re-save as as a .txt. Then I go through with the Word doc on one side of the screen and the text file on the other, putting in all the formatting. This way I don't miss anything. It is then super easy to copy and paste into the submission box (the way you see it in notepad, a non-formatted text editor, is the exact way it will come out in the box). You can also save it in case you screw something up, and do it all ahead of time (I have a dial up connection so its easier than doing it all online). Either way, I would not recommend doing formatting in Word because things sometimes copy weird. I THINK that answers your question. Later.
CoLd BlooDed
2:30 am | March 10, 2004
I usually do normal formatting on MS Word and then add the code in the submission box. The choice is really up to you.
Thomas Harper
2:10 am | March 10, 2004
hey guys sup. im just about to post another story, but one thing i need to no, is i have microsoft word and should i do this [indent], and [i], [/i] on microsoft or should i wait to do that for when i copy it onto the submission form? i really need to no this today becuase i want to post it wrte no. thanks. =:)
Hawk7886
9:54 pm | March 9, 2004
"n00bs" = n00bs are the evil version, commonly trolling and baiting regulars. These guys are fun to flame, although it doesn't do anything positive.

"newbs" = newbs are the 'good' version. The version that will take comments and advice from other peers at heart. The ones that we like :)
CoLd BlooDed
12:45 pm | March 9, 2004
Wow, you guys, I love getting this attention. :P

But you have to remember, I may be the one that "supplies" the entertainment, but Hawk7886 does the (well, most) of the editing.

That's why if there are any mistakes, it's his fault. :P

Thanks you guys, and because of these comments is why I continue to write. (Even the bad ones) :D
Thomas Harper
12:38 pm | March 9, 2004
wait jiggssaw hes my favorite author lol. another to story to praise about, but what else should i expect from u? =:)
CoLd BlooDed
12:27 pm | March 9, 2004
He was "rested" with a few aches and pains...

Besides, he used a cheap kick to the stomach. :P
Helljumper
12:24 pm | March 9, 2004
Good shit
teemus
12:18 pm | March 9, 2004
I liked it. One thing though, if Jake was injured, how could he fight that marine?
'Nosolee
11:19 am | March 9, 2004
Never heard of the passive voice? Well, lol, its a common and nagging mistake in English writing(its abundant in Latin though). I'm going to make a guide similar to S's forum guide for newcomers, it'll help authors in writing very good pieces of Halo fanfiction. Hopefully it will aid some n00bs in the buisness and elimminate the little errors in the veteran writers' stories. Maybe I'll start that now, it may be a little difficult to do on a European keyboard, the specialized(ie ?'" and ) are different.

The first rule I ever learned in high-school writing was never ever use the passive voice and always eliminate unnecessary words. Trust me, the story flows much better.
CoLd BlooDed
4:20 am | March 9, 2004
Yeah man, I have been in love, but damn, it's hard writing it on the computer! :p

Thanks for the comment, and I'll try working harder on that area.
IAmDelta
4:02 am | March 9, 2004
Hey bud, good job as always (thats implied).

For this one I do have one complaint, and thats that the whole section with the "insane" marine was more than a little...stilted I guess I'd say. I dunno, it just felt like you jumped to the conclusion that he was insane way too quickly, considering the girl he loved just died. I guess I don't think you represented the love part enough (have you ever been in love man? it can make you "insane"). The section could have been sort of a beautiful ending where the dedicated lover dies with his love, instead of an oh well, screw him, he was weak and insane. It just felt...a little weird. But then I grant you that that is more of an artistic viewpoint, and this is Halo Fan Fiction, not a literary classic.

Still, if you're going to mess with strong emotions (love, hate, etc.) I'd appreciate if you did it right. Right would be setting this up several chapters in advance through indirect characterization, so that we know Chris loves Chelsea and understand why he needs somebody to vent his anger on. This way the death takes on a lot more meaning and the story flows better.

Thats just my two cents, feel free to regard or disregard it as you like. Overall the story was still very good, as I have come to expect from you. Keep up the good work.

PS - For anybody who cares, I have been busy as hell but DaL Chapter 3 is coming along steadily. Hopefully it'll be done in the next week or two.
CoLd BlooDed
2:33 am | March 9, 2004
Lol, thats ok, I wasn't offended and actually meant "You always seem to have a suggestion."

Sorry if I offended YOU, and thanks for reading my stories. :)
Mastergrunt
2:19 am | March 9, 2004
To cold-blooded: I don't always complain, I was just making a simple statement that's all. Sorry if I offended you. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely lovwe your series :)
CoLd BlooDed
11:57 pm | March 8, 2004
Never heard of what a "Passive Voice" was, sorry, I'll get rid of that next time. Or at least try.... ;)
JJiggssaw
10:34 pm | March 8, 2004
ToFu do you call everyone a bafoon or just me? Yes I agree that the passive voice makes it harder to read but I can't blame you CoLd, it is REALLY hard tog et rid of, my stories always end up with at least a few sentences of it. A riveting series.
ToFu
7:16 pm | March 8, 2004
I agree with that bafoon, I meant JJiggssaw another classic series that i enjoy reading. Gr8 work kid!
'Nosolee
4:34 pm | March 8, 2004
This is all I'm going to do for now:

Never, ever use the passive voice that is to say the pluperfect tense in Latin, ie he had been running, turn it into he was running or he ran. Its much easier to read. Your first paragraph is filled with it.
'Nosolee
4:21 pm | March 8, 2004
"Complaints", or Comments as I like to call them, are what helped me learn how to write better. Then again, I dont know how often Master Grunt posts complaints.

Personally, I like it when people tear my fictions to pieces, I mean, massive literary distruction until the paper is bleeding red ink. Its what my English class is teaching me to do, one writes, rewrites, and continues to write until its perfect, or nearly perfect.

If you want, Ill do that if I have time, ;)
CoLd BlooDed
3:56 pm | March 8, 2004
Yes but he was insane, what good would it do to bring them along with them?

You always seem to have a complaint.
Mastergrunt
3:02 pm | March 8, 2004
Nice but couldn't they still have rescued that marine who was insane, I mean they were actually helping the flood by letting them infect him.
Awacar
2:42 pm | March 8, 2004
JJigg said it all.

This piece felt as a little step back to calmness for your story, and this makes it more realistic, i think.

Great, great, great, CoLd.
'Ṇsolee
2:19 pm | March 8, 2004
I'm in Milan, Italy for the first week of sring break, but I always have time to check HBO news, the forum, and of course, fan fiction. As soon as summer hits in a few months, I'll be back in the habit of writing and reading, for now, schoolwork has taken over my life. I'm glad to see some old faces still here, like you CoLd and I think Forerunner is still here too.

Expect a lot coming from the Fall of Fate department, somewhere along the lines of a...a comic, which is in the works. I have a very talented artist working with me to convey what you read in the story into 2D art. It takes a lot of work to hammer out all the details. The first episode should be realesed sometime in the next 2 weeks, ;).

Hush hush, thats a secret people.

CoLd, great job on this piece, glad to see that your still writing.

(the ̣ in my name isnt usually there, I'm just taking advantage of a European keyboard :)

Ciao ragazzi.
JJiggssaw
1:14 pm | March 8, 2004
Another classic from my favorite author ;)


bungie.org
brr!