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Comments for 'Forgotten Soldiers part 1' |
saturn
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
that paragraph made me more dizzy than a slipstream jump. break em up and elaborate. You have good potential, nice detail mentioning the rogue mercs. break it up and spread it out.
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Sarge
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
Massing paragraphs scare me format it than all read it.
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Dispraiser
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
Yeah, but I had a hard time switching from when you summarized the previous events and when you began to go to the current time at the wraith period. But yeah, stick a paragraph there and you sould be fine.
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el_halo_diablo
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
there's a thing called paragraphing, you should use it. Oh an Tay Tay, is your name taylor?
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TayTay
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
Yeah, your story is really good. Nice length, realism and few typos. Good job, keep em coming.
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August Winterman
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
Nice story, has real potential to go far. I cannot wait till the rest of it.
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