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MasterCD
7:21 am | March 29, 2004
I doubt anyone'll actually read this, but hey? Well, it's very poetic and descriptive. You should write poetry. Sad, but not without hope. I like it. So, are you gonna give the boy/teen/man/ghost a name? Even those who are lost were once known...
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The Author of "Changes"
4:41 pm | February 27, 2003
I'd like to write some more, thanks for all of the nice comments. I think it's ok to use sentence fragments in fiction. My full name is "Mark Boone, Jesus Freak." Good day.
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Bob Lucas
1:48 am | February 25, 2003
Awesome! That has to be one of the best I have EVER Read!
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Arthur Wellesly
4:48 pm | February 22, 2003
Hahahaha, my thoughts exactly, Bean.
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Bean
4:45 pm | February 22, 2003
Wha?
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Knightmare(MM
2:41 pm | February 22, 2003
Back off, 'Bean'. I am reading this. Are you?
Sorry to waste your space with this author.
-Knightmare, Merry Marines
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Traumatised Marine
12:33 pm | February 22, 2003
Maybe he as mysterious as the boy in his story...
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Bean
3:56 am | February 22, 2003
part 2?,pretty please!Are you even reading this?
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el_halo_diablo
11:39 pm | February 21, 2003
*twilight zone music*
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Arthur Wellesly
12:51 pm | February 21, 2003
Yea, I've been wondering that as well... so far, it appears as if he has not.
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el_halo_diablo
11:51 pm | February 20, 2003
actual*
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el_halo_diablo
11:48 pm | February 20, 2003
I wanna know if the actualluy author is reading this.
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master_stu
4:27 am | February 20, 2003
have been gone, but this is the best peice i have read in a long time. i hope there is more (almost rivals wado, but not yet)
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Wado
6:09 pm | February 19, 2003
The name for the boy I spoke about was the name the Covenant called the boy. If you want to in still a story about a legend, the legend needs a title, especially a title in the language of the enemy.
Would you remember the story about "that orphan kid that fought the Covenant" or how about instead the story of "El Diablo Nino" (well that's not Covenant speech but something that translates to "the devil child" or "the devil spirit" or even "lone wolf" or "the faceless boy" would be nice)?
As the story is passed from generation to generation to young humans living in a time of war and later to those living in a time of peace, the name will remain and the story will be changed (slightly). Beowulf, King Arthur, Hercules, Daniel Boone, etc. We know the names and some of the story that goes with the names. Without a name (title) the story of that boy will be lost. Someone must give him a name to survive the test of time. It does not matter if the boy ever existed or represents every human that fought the Covenant. The name can be anything that can be remembered (i.e., "The boy who cried wolf" is a title, a name, that's all I'm asking for).
Just a suggestion to take this great writing to the next level.
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Arthur Wellesly
4:21 pm | February 19, 2003
I thought the story was extremely well done without it. I agree with Marine in that having him nameless makes the story not stupid, but, if possible, even more effective.
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Traumatised Marine
8:33 am | February 19, 2003
What are you lot talking about?
WHY does he need a name?
I think it makes no difference, and the 'young man' or 'old boy' seems to be more effective than a name. In a way it's sort of like he's just another faceless life that should have crumbled before the covenant, but didn't.
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Pilot 415
6:24 pm | February 16, 2003
Possibly the best non-pro fiction i have ever read. but the boy/warrior really needs a name exept kinda intrduce it at only the time while he's sane/a boy or when he's thinking about how it used to be like at the time when he was called ....... but that title is no longer important.
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Arthur Wellesly
3:08 am | February 14, 2003
Whoa! Impressive. Extremely well written. You have indeed raised the bar for Fan Fic. I'm not half as good a writer as you. Continue to write, I eagerly anticipate anything new you might make.
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el_halo_diablo
11:42 pm | February 13, 2003
hmm Wado I never thought of the boy being just a metaphor...But I think he is still an actual boy.
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Traumatised Marine
8:57 pm | February 13, 2003
With it's poetic symbolisms, this fan fic has some(if you'll forgive me for sounding like a prattling art critic) soul.
It is a rare gift to be able to weave writing like this, you lucky git!
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Wado
5:08 am | February 13, 2003
Keep up the writing. You can't argue with comments like the ones before.
The faceless boy needs a name, a title in a different language, the words the Covenant call this shadow spirit of humanity. The boy really never existed did he? He is the spirit of humanity, of many that lost innocence in the plasma storms, but never lost hope and held off the Covenant occupation until reinforcements could come.
Excellent writing... even if I've read more into it than I should.
Suggestions: Work on grammar, you have many sentence fragments. Improve grammar but don't lose the story, the flow, the layout, and the rhythm.
Hope to see more from you.
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el_halo_diablo
1:20 am | February 13, 2003
Ok im serious when I say this, your fan fic was truly the best I've seen from a new writer! I definatly look forward to seeing more from you. Damn...you make me feel like I'm more of a lowsy writer than I already am(lately). This fan fic has definatly set the bar for fan fics to come.
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gruntkiller
7:00 pm | February 12, 2003
a masterpiece i hope you write again in the future now most of the newer series seem to be unoriginal or just plane bad but this is that bit of talent that we need. you are truly a great author, (i hope to god this wasn't a fluke)
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Berconius
1:05 pm | February 12, 2003
You are extremely talented... I beleive that fanfiction like yours is what belongs on this site. Thank you for restoring my faith in the fanfiction commmunity.
cheers.
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