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Comments for 'The Last Stand Of Humanity part 1 (Greetings Humans)' |
bloodsoldier4
1:35 am | August 25, 2003
if the soldier3s story isnt rejected il put up the first one edited
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bloodsoldier3
10:03 pm | August 24, 2003
im haveing errors with my word thingy and shuff like that from a virus and my 2nd story was rejecked so this is the end for this seires well seeya
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LostRock
3:39 pm | August 24, 2003
One thing I would suggest is releasing the proofread version of this story, then we can see how it was supposed to turn out.
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gruntkiller
11:54 am | August 24, 2003
ill read it, i guess. but on that note
Coming to HBO:
The Batte of Evermore
the story of a sniper caught in an epic battle for the valley of evermore who lies as a stratigic key to the planet.
coming in: a day or two whenever its finished
there, compitition for yah Hunter_killer
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Mr. Bill
8:35 am | August 24, 2003
Comming, Period:
6000+ words....
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Jinkaiden-XI
2:29 am | August 24, 2003
Alright for Gruntkiller!!
Well, I'll put in my own little addition to the fray of advertisements:
Coming to HBO:
Savior Garden Part I: Welcome to the Garden.
The tale of a seemingly endless fight between two forces within the almighty Garden, a government research/test facility complex. With losses mounting and disappearances growing severe, the elite military foce known as Savior is chosen to reclaim the human name and defend the security of planet Jessenova. A battle for the mortal world begins...
Coming: Shortly after the completion of In Light of Destiny.
Jinkaiden-XI
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bloodsoldier3
9:21 pm | August 23, 2003
nice ad...
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Hunter_Killer
9:16 pm | August 23, 2003
Adversisements:
Coming to an HBO near you:
Blue Squadron Chronicles!
Telling the eciting exploits of the UNSC 177th Longsword B Squadron, also known as Blue Quadron!
The Adventures of Lt. Jake! (It's Part Three)
Following the Adventures of a UNSC Pelican Dropship Pilot as he is shot down, rescued, and his flights into Historic(In the future)Battles!
A Sieries of Wierd Events! (Part Two)
Me and other HBO Fan Fic writers are sucked into our Halo Games! Will we ever escape? Or will the Covenant get us...
lol, I do my Advertising.
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gruntkiller
7:26 pm | August 23, 2003
i only came back a few days ago out of bordom, im working on a short three part series should be ready soon
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bloodsoldier4
5:58 pm | August 23, 2003
the bottom post wasnt myn, i lost inter net after i posted the story, i hope bldslder3's part of this is better and the posts were correct...just a little rude thats all this storys just plain shit my edited versions alot better il give this story a 1/10
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bloodsoldier4
5:54 pm | August 23, 2003
oops i didnt meen to post this story like this i waz runing the story in a few spell checks this WASNT the final story...it5 was a preright...but ya you guys are right it sucks worse then i thought(other versions of this are better)
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Arthur Wellesly
3:59 pm | August 23, 2003
Calling people "assholes" for voicing their valid opinions is uncalled for and completely petty. They weren't bashing bloodsoldier 4 or insulting him, merely expressing views which are ultimately correct.
I agree, this story was bad. I didn't get most of it. But that's not necessarily a total loss. Learn from you're mistakes. Reread this story and pick out the mistakes. First of all there's grammar and spelling issue that needs to be fixed, plus the flow problem that has been addressed. Your story needs to be far more clear.
I hope this was helpful advice.
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Jinkaiden-XI
2:22 pm | August 23, 2003
Gruntkiller, when did you show up again...?
Bloodsoldier4, this story can be corrected and pushed further, but it helps to have a good format. Putting dialogue on it's own line really helps to make the story flow easily.
Another thing: If you think your story sucks, then check out some of the others already posted to get an idea of what is usually expected of some writers. If you have Spellcheck, then use it. Looking through posted stories and books will help you understand how the format is best read. It's really a matter of patience and understanding. It may take time, but it pays. I took me months to get this thing down, and believe me: it works.
I assure you that this story can work out, but you must make it longer and you shouldn't use abbreviations with words that shouldn't be shortened. I'm also trying to lengthen my own stories, and it's working so far. Don't let people put you down; they're only trying to help (even if you can't tell that it's what they're doing).
Just work with it, and it will improve.
Jinkaiden-XI
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Hunter_Killer
11:31 am | August 23, 2003
I liked it, but there were a few mistakes. Nothing you cant fix in Chapter Two! 8.9/10 =)
Oh, and read Hunter_Killer's fan fics, peopleses!
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bloodsoldier3
1:10 am | August 23, 2003
im will make the rest of this i promis it will be a litle bit better on seplling and stuff ok i appolise about the 'asshole' part but il make it better
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bloodsoldier3
1:10 am | August 23, 2003
i will make chaper 2 titled 'The last stand of humantity part 1 (new blood) part 2 will envolve space battles and moon stuff part 1 is earth stuff spelling will be better this time errors will be fixed and other stuff k
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LostRock
10:19 pm | August 22, 2003
We're assholes just because we provided criticism? No, I'm afraid your FRIEND is the asshole for posting this fan fic in the first place. If he clearly could see it sucked, why did he post it? Huh?
I hope you have better luck next time, bloodsoldier, and I really do mean that.
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bloodsoldier3
10:12 pm | August 22, 2003
walkers the only one here that i think isnt an asshole
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bloodsoldier3
10:08 pm | August 22, 2003
dam i thought u guys would be a little nicer but well u guys are assholes im his friend and well i see why he said not to write FF here.
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Walker
8:04 pm | August 22, 2003
u can save this series, i'm sure of it. have someone read it before you submit so they can edit it for grammar/punctuation, then submit it and i'm sure you'll get a lot of good reviews.
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gruntkiller
7:30 pm | August 22, 2003
*shaks head* if you yourself dont approve of what your writing for gods sake dont put it here
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Dispraiser
6:41 pm | August 22, 2003
When YOU think it sucks FIX IT! You read it and go "Crap, this fanfic sucks... Should I submit it? Yeah, i think I will and just tell people that I think it sucks." Great idea! Don't!
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LostRock
5:45 pm | August 22, 2003
I'm sorry, but this is just poor. You spell and create dialogue that you would only find in a chatroom. "wtf was that?"
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LostRock
5:45 pm | August 22, 2003
I'm sorry, but this is just poor. You spell and create dialogue that you would only find in a chatroom. "wtf was that?"
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bloodsoldier4
10:10 am | August 22, 2003
this sucked badly i bet all of u who read this thought it sucked but its my first story
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