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Comments for 'DONT TURN YOUR BACK TO ME part 1' |
Reaper1037
11:53 pm | March 8, 2004
Its ok
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Alpha Lance
6:15 am | February 22, 2004
Well damn... screw the glasses, this story made me blind
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Alpha Lance
6:13 am | February 22, 2004
Becuse ov dis sotry iz becus i had 2 gat glases
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CoLd BlooDed
6:11 am | February 22, 2004
Backfire, I'm sorry, (well, not really, I'm actually glad I get to say this...) but this is the most stupid fucking story ever written. It's so horrible, I can't even begin to insult you because I'm afraid that you will just get mad and punish us with more stories.
You SUCK! Stop writing, for the love of god and every single DECENT fan fiction writer--no, make that every single decent WRITER on Earth.
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AlPhA LaNcE
6:09 am | February 22, 2004
ThIs Is lIkE wHoA bAd
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Alpha Lance
6:09 am | February 22, 2004
I would be one rich bastard if I had a dollor for every mistake in the story... $$$
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GLADIATRRR3000
5:39 am | February 22, 2004
oooo, eye dubel pohstd.
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J-117
5:39 am | February 22, 2004
rite gladz0r, dis dood is a fukz0r
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GLADIATRRR3000
5:39 am | February 22, 2004
there should be a label on the front of this:
"WARNING! THIS FANFIC MAY CAUSE THE LOSS OF YOUR INTELECT, ENGLISH USAGE, AND PENIS!"
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GLADIATRRR3000
5:39 am | February 22, 2004
Who'd bad with a captial B?
BACKFIRE!
can you dig it?
no! because it sucks!
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GLADIATRRR3000
5:39 am | February 22, 2004
Who'd bad with a captial B?
BACKFIRE!
can you dig it?
no! because it sucks!
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GLADIATRRR3000
5:37 am | February 22, 2004
i tink taht dere suld b a new englsh. hwevr dees giy ritez, we suld rite.
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GLADIATRRR3000
5:37 am | February 22, 2004
escooze mi. i ment beztnezesst.
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J-117
5:37 am | February 22, 2004
OMFG this guy is such a fucking n00bz0r who needs to go to classz0r or else J-117 will call micheal jackson and pay backfire a visit.
ownedz0r
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GLADIATRRR3000
5:35 am | February 22, 2004
this is the best fanfic ever. of all time. no way does the actual GAME come anywhere near as godly as this. especcially love how the dude herd the captan talking to the cb about the 5 pelcans. that was the best-est-ness.
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BACKFIRE
5:35 am | February 22, 2004
SORY1 BUTT I A FUK UP N D D D D... WUTS THT GRAD U GO 2 FIRSSSSJT, UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...... I WENT POPPY
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Alpha Lance
5:04 pm | October 11, 2003
Yeah, but this guy needs major help. So we can help.
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Hawk7886
9:00 pm | October 5, 2003
Cool, I can read it now.
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Alpha Lance
5:33 am | October 5, 2003
I tried my best.
"IN COMING!!!!!" the pilot screamed as wising noise came from the back jet and a BOOOOM of an M19 explosion. The pelican went into a dive. Some of the men almost flew out but their shoulder straps held them in. i was holding on to the weapon bay door when it happened. The caption told the pilot to send out an S.O.S before we land he did a couple seconds later the pilot told use to brace your self. Of the CB radio was the last thing I heard suddenly my head smacked into the steel. There was this dark feeling wrapped around my head and a smell of burnt feathers. I was knocked out.
”Alpha bravo i have reserved your S.O.S copy.”
”Yes this is alpha bravo to ground control we have taken heavy losses. We need extraction on the double. Are omega 20 bravo sector 5 frame sear?”
”Copy that were bringing in 5-drop ships soldier. Get them the hell out!”
I woke up when my captain started the engines of a Warthog. I hopped in; I could tell that I had a concussion. The whizzing of bullet flew past my head. I tried to duck in the passenger seat of the Warthog but my commander screamed at me to get up and shoot. Every time I did I heard the pings of plasma hitting the armor of the Warthog. I hopped out into a pack of Marine that was taking cover behind the wreckage of a Scorpion. About 50 feet ahead of us there was a whole mass of Covenant. They kept ducking and hiding so that it was almost impossible to get a shot of. The guy next to me was screaming because the medic was wrapping his wound. I asked him what happened. "This dumbass popped a grenade right into a pile Elites and they tossed it back. He got a shit full of shrapnel in his leg." It looked pretty bad but he was better of then some of the other ones.
I strafed of into a pile of brush I made sure no one saw me. I pulled out my sniper rifle and zoomed in I saw so many Covenant I must have picked of about 25% before I was out of ammo. An Elite charged me and I crush his head in with the handle on my pistol. A burst of bluish purple blood flew out of its mouth. It was dead. A whole squad of Grunts caught me off guard. I pulled out my pistol and tried to aim for their heads. I got at least 5 but then my shield went out. All the plasma hitting my armor was making me hot. I bounce out of the bushes just in time when one of the Grunts threw a grenade. I ran back to the marines. They all looked at me like i was going to kill them the way I was running. Then they saw what i was running from. A tall marine stood and told me to duck. So i did. Instead of ducking i dove right into a boot of a kneeling marine. I heard a great BOOM it must have been that marines high explosives or maybe a white wilily because they acted like they were on fire. One of the marines laughs and says. "Yeah that’s right bitch!"
”This is alpha bravo to ground control come in ground control.”
”This is ground control.”
”Damn it ground control when are those pelicans going to be here!”
”It will there in five minutes.”
”Damn! That’s not fast enough, tell them to get here ASAP!”
”Roger that.”
I could hear my captain yelling at the CB from a distance. I heard him talking about the pelicans. About 5 minutes ago we could have used 5 Pelicans but now all we need is 3. Just then I herd the rumbling of Pelicans they must have come from somewhere ells but i was glad to see there was only 2 of them, but they had some power right when I saw the LAAG guns started to roar. On the left and right of the passenger bay there were marines with Jackhammer launchers. Within 2 minutes we were out of there.
The captain was on the COM channel screaming because of the noisy of th jets on the Pelican, I heard him say after a good nights sleep were going back in. My heart sank and I fell asleep to the sound of the drowning jets.
Sorry for the spce I took up.
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Mainevent
11:45 am | October 2, 2003
"That or any retarded six year old"
Hey, that means I can help
YAY!!!
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Dispraiser
9:56 pm | October 1, 2003
"Also, have one of your family member our friend that is in Jr. High to help you."
That or any retarded six year old.
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Alpha Lance
8:09 pm | October 1, 2003
You know, if you try to read it again, it doesn't get any better. So here is a tip for you BACKFIRE, have someone read over it or write it for you. Also, learn to spell. Oh! Wait! Use the 'WORD' document. It really helps out. But for the time being, and I quote. "Do not write anymore stories intil you improve it to aleast a 5th grade level. But right now, your at a 1st grade level."
But I'm surprise that Louis Wu posted this, 'cause it doesn't even meet the recomended grammer qualification level. But let me ask you, what grade are you in? If you are in the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd. Then do not try to write something, intil you are in a reasonable grade level, like 5th grade. I hope this wasn't too harsh, which it was. 'Cause these people are going to give you a very hard time about your grammer and spelling. Also, have one of your family member our friend that is in Jr. High to help you. Or you can get one of these people to help you, but if you do, make sure that it isn't too bad, or they just won't bother to check it. Have a nice day.
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MasterGrunt
11:38 am | October 1, 2003
Wes thes ritton bi a ferst grater. (Purposely spelled it that way) RUN ON SENTENCES, HORRIBLE SPELLING, AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, NO CAPITALS. RESULT, MELTDOWN IN 30 SECONDS.
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Alpha Lance
11:09 am | September 30, 2003
Alright, lets all lay off now. For one you did to capitalize, okay.
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Sarge
9:23 am | September 30, 2003
Krrk...
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Walker
3:21 am | September 30, 2003
| \\/\\/45 |_|/\\/|)3|2 +|-|3 |/\\/\\P|2355|0/\\/ +|-|4+ |+ \\/\\/45 "|_33+". But then again, there are varying L33t dialects. So whatever. And this story was really piffed. Look at what other people have said for advice, because I'm not in the mood to say much right now. Just know that spellcheck is your friend.
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Mainevent
12:57 am | September 30, 2003
I've seen some sorry grammar in my time, but seriously. Take thirty seconds to look over what you right. It's hard to read when you have to mentally correct every other word...literally.
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Sergeant B
12:43 am | September 30, 2003
Aw...................This is so funny you guys kicking eachothers' dicks and asses on the battlefield! Nice one Sim!!
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Sergeant B
12:43 am | September 30, 2003
Aw...................This is so funny you guys kicking eachothers' dicks and asses on the battlefield! Nice one Sim!!
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Sergeant B
12:43 am | September 30, 2003
Aw...................This is so funny you guys kicking eachothers' dicks and asses on the battlefield! Nice one Sim!!
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Sim McGaulkin
12:27 am | September 30, 2003
Of course, my first chapter sounded just like this...
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Sim McGaulkin
12:25 am | September 30, 2003
Wow... Is this a joke, or what?
BACKFIRE's reply:
NO, of cors nott. Ar you kidin mi?
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Mainevent
9:23 pm | September 29, 2003
(krrrk) You need to (krrrk) take a damn english (krrrk) class. Over (krrk)
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ISHKABIBBL
7:37 pm | September 29, 2003
ACTUALY DISPRAISER, ITS 1337 (not sure about the 7, thats just what the other T2 junkies said.)
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Dispraiser
6:20 pm | September 29, 2003
And I mispell something in there... Oops...
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Dispraiser
6:18 pm | September 29, 2003
DOES THIS MAKE MY POST MORE L33T WHEN i rIGHT IN aL CAPS!?! looLOLOLOLl!!!1!111!1
Try going through kindergareten, then give this another shot.
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Hawk7886
5:53 am | September 29, 2003
Remember: Friends don't let friends write stories drunk.
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Ishkabibbl
2:22 am | September 29, 2003
Must...claw...out...eyes...and...forget...horrible...grammer!
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Agent Shade
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
I think I'm about to have a seizure...the lack of grammar, the lack of spelling, the lack of story...
my eye is twitching, must close document...no mouse batteries?
*falls over and convulses on floor*
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Solidus Snake
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
How long did it take you to write this BACKFIRE? Stupid ass. Hope you're happy you fucked up my mind. Shit, all the errors almost killed me! And thanks to you, I HAVE TO BUY A NEW 600 DOLLORS MONITOR! Ahhhh! NOW I CAN'T BREATH!!
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Solidus Snake
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
See waht happne becuse of yuor soty!
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Solidus Snake
12:01 am | November 30, -0001
What*
Happen*
Because*
Your*
Story*
SEE!!!
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