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Comments for 'Halo Trilogy: Fighting and Remembrance (Chapter VI)'

2:33 pm | October 5, 2003
AlphaLance, you told me no lies. The story is as good as you predicted, and I found it to be a MAJOR improvement compared to some of the beginning error problems you had.
No big deal there, it was all legible and the story is incredible. Good luck on the next.
Alpha Lance
9:36 pm | September 30, 2003
I also want to know, who in here is reading Tom Clancy, The Teeth of the Tiger. I am, and it is the best one I'm reading from him so far.
Alpha Lance
8:53 pm | September 30, 2003
Well, here I am, finaly out of pratice. Everyone here has been reading my stories, I thank you all. So just sit tight, I will write the next chapter this week, or next week. Probaly next week, 'cause I like to spend alot of time on writting, editing, and correcting. Take care.
Sergeant B
6:39 pm | September 30, 2003
Thanks Walker! Hope everyone reads my story when I make it!!
11:42 am | September 30, 2003
I don't know If you were talking in terms of writing or what, but I remember seeing your first story a long time ago on the front page. Meaning I was around back then to. Meaning most likely we were both around here at the same time. Or not. I don't know, and I don't really care, and it's not really important. I usually read your work without you having to ask, though because you're very good. Good luck with your story when it gets posted. I'll read it and give you some comments. :]

Semper Fi

11:31 am | September 30, 2003
Nice job Alpha Lance, it shows that more work was put into improving grammar and spelling. Compared to earlier stories from you, the grammar in this one was much better.

As for the story, it still rocks. Keep up the writing.
11:09 am | September 30, 2003
3:48 am | September 30, 2003
I'm good Walker (and I've been here longer than you ;), check out my story. I posted it like five seconds ago so it should be here soon.
Great story Alpha. The only things a found wrong with the story have already been posted. Try not to keep switching between past and present tense, it makes it a little bit confusing. Great story (Jake still ROCKS!!)
3:48 am | September 30, 2003
2:13 am | September 30, 2003
Perhaps this is a bit unfair, but for me to read the work of new authors, the title has to be intruiging. Sorry folks, but that's how it is in the real world, too. However, if it's an author I know is good, I'll read his story pretty much no matter what. Right now, the new authors aren't doing a very good job of sparking my interest, for the most part at least. Right now I'm off to see if i can find something interesting, so don't hate me too much, Sergeant B, because I agree it's not good for anyone to have discouraged newbies. If everyone were like that, there wold be no community here.
Sergeant B
12:34 am | September 30, 2003
Now here's everyone. Not on the new dudes' stories! That's just rude!
12:11 am | September 30, 2003
Again, the therapy sessions with Shadow seemed a bit Oprah-like. Besides that and the grammar, great story. I wait anxiously to see where this story goes next.

Semper Fi

10:01 pm | September 29, 2003
Bah Hunter_Killer, go back to your own story =P

Where it says, "fired a SMG", the 'a' should be 'an'. You would put an 'a' only if you spelt it out, when you say 'SMG' out loud, the 's' sounds like 'es'.

Wow, that error is the only one I'm going to mention. It seems like the tenses of your actions are off. Some sentences that say 'was' should be 'were', other words need suffixes.

I loved the length, unlike OTHER authors, the length made it very satisfying.

Very cool story line, but the errors were prominent. I could edit it for you, just send it to Hawk7886@hotmail.com

8:45 pm | September 29, 2003
lol, the Grammer was funny. No offence. Anyways, GREAT STORY!!!!!

By the way, watch out for Hawk. He's back to his nitpicking ways, with a vengance.
Sergeant B
8:35 pm | September 29, 2003
Pretty Alpha Lance!! Pretty good. Just need to work on grammar and maybe spelling.