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Comments for 'The Wasted'

8:57 pm | October 27, 2003
i think this is the worst thing you've ever done. good job.
Alpha Lance
9:12 pm | September 2, 2003
Its copyrighted.
2:56 am | September 2, 2003
Nice Sig. Is the © symbol meaning something. ;)
Alpha Lance
10:39 pm | September 1, 2003
Thanks Wado. And check out my signiture.

Alpha Lance
Creator of Halo Trilogy©
9:54 pm | September 1, 2003
The horrible spelling aside...LOL... a very nice beat to the poem, although your meter seems off in places. Nice job, it would be cool if you could rewrite this using consistant meter.

What I mean by meter is having a pattern for the number of syllables. The first line had 9, the second had 6, and the third line of the poem had 8 syllables. If you could make it 9, 9, 6, or 9, 6, 9 or some pattern for the entire poem.

For instance,

Man and alien both the same -- 8
One fighting for their lives -- 6
The other fighting to destroy. -- 8

Blood is being spilled -- 5
The hunt for the game has begun -- 8
Bodies hit the floor. -- 5

The sky flares -- 3
Everything turns red -- 5
Death noise goes -- 3

Long fallen souls lost -- 5
Innocent lives dead and wasted -- 8
Peace dark and broken. -- 5

Or something like that. Keep the writing up, looking forward to more from you.
7:39 pm | September 1, 2003
it was good, 9/10
Alpha Lance: creator of Halo Trilogy©
7:39 pm | September 1, 2003
Look at this!

Alpha Lance: creator of Halo Trilogy©
Alpha Lance
3:27 pm | September 1, 2003
Thanks. =^)
2:40 pm | September 1, 2003
That is the best title. Ever. lol.
1:10 pm | September 1, 2003
good... not the best poem ive ever read but still good
Alpha Lance
2:20 am | September 1, 2003
Chapter II part 2 sudmitted, and my new peom,
Why Bother was sudmitted. =^)
Alpha Lance
7:08 pm | August 31, 2003
Thanks, and check out my other peom and story.
And I'm not the best of spellers, I was also
kinda in a hurry.
Covie Killer
7:06 pm | August 31, 2003
I get it, 10/10.
7:03 pm | August 31, 2003
I'll spell check it for you since it's short.

Human and alien both the same
One fighting for their lives
The other fighting to destroy
Blood is being spilled
Bodies hit the floor
The hunt for the game begine
The sky flares up
Everything turns red
The noise of death goes in every direction
The souls of the fallen are lost
Peace has been broken
And that when lives are wasted

Write what you want, you can't be hindered by exploring multiple facets. Keep it up.
Alpha Lance
5:13 pm | August 31, 2003
Thanks Walker.
5:09 pm | August 31, 2003
i think you should stick with both, but mainly stories. the poem was good, though.