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Comments for 'Halo Trilogy: Take Back What Belongs to Us (Chapter 1)'

11:38 am | September 3, 2003
And you said you were as good as Wado...

Sorry, but Wado does better. This fanfic lacks a lot that I have complained about to the fanfics, and has odd formatting...
Alpha Lance
12:34 am | September 3, 2003
I didn't say i was better than Wado.
6:11 am | September 2, 2003
The story is alright but the grammer is horrible,7/10.
10:44 pm | September 1, 2003
11:54 am | September 1, 2003
no but im always gonna be at ur side mang, cuz u one of my most loyal fans...
Alpha Lance
2:27 am | September 1, 2003
Thanx J. And I can't wait intill your next story
comes out. And I will always be on your side too.

-Alpha Lance, J-117 bigest fan.
Alpha Lance
1:32 pm | August 31, 2003
Chapter II submited
Alpha Lance
9:18 pm | August 30, 2003
Thanks J. =) And look for my peom I submited.
I don't know if everyone will love.
9:09 pm | August 30, 2003
I love it man, but u missing that one very important thing in ur stories mang: essence, u dont have enough essence in the stories but I cannot give u essence u must create it.
Alpha Lance
6:30 pm | August 30, 2003
What? No. And what are you talking about. Besides
it start with a M, and ends with a N. Its one of
my freinds name, and my next story is going to be
in honer for him. And he isn't dead or anything,
he is my best freind and he always been their by
myside if I was in trouble or something. And he
always took up for me and I took up for him too.
But I an't going to tell ya'll his name untill
the last chapter or something when he start to
remembaer his past.
Covie Killer
6:27 pm | August 30, 2003
Sweet, I love this story. 10/10
I also like that Shadow idea, and I won't take a guest at his name. Is it Josh Ferguson your email
Alpha Lance
6:07 pm | August 30, 2003
I would Kaboose, and thank you for your kindness.
But it would take me a long time, it takes me 20
min to write 2 paragraphs. I'm a slow typer, but
I try my best. And thank you walker for the score
you gave me.
2:15 pm | August 30, 2003
heh heh... that was good, Alpha Lance. it was funny when the Mater Chief summed up halo in about two sentences. keep writing, and i think it would be a good idea to send your story to someone like Kaboose to proofread it. 9.25/10, its getting better.
12:56 pm | August 30, 2003
Alpha, i've got an idea...how about before you submit your story to HBO, you e-mail it to me and i'll like proofread it and give you some pointers on how to make it better and maybe point out some spelling errors or gramma errors...if you don't want to, that's fine with me...just trying to be a friendly...lol

My e-mail is: spookybanana29@hotmail.com