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Comments for 'Zanzibar: The Waterworks-Chapter 7'

1:33 am | June 24, 2004
My stories are regarded as good examples Salty Beans, of course you haven't been here long enought to know that have you?
343 Salty Beans
12:09 am | June 24, 2004
You couldn't email me? Crap. Try this address, I may have typed it wrong.


Yes, hockey has no 'e', it's spelled just like that. It's an old one, I've had it since 6th grade, but no one likes a person who changes his email every 5 minutes.

Thanks, Dave. And I've only read a few of those. My attention span is that of an ADHD kid on a diet of Mountain Dew and Cap'n Crunch.

Dave Luck
9:21 pm | June 23, 2004
Okay, Let's see.

I meant the coding at the first installment of the series. That's okay. The grammar and paragraphing made up for that.

Well, it's not me that's being pursued by flaming nijnjas, it's my imagination (in my imagination.)

I actually try and look beyond some of the writing.

Great writing will have symbolic meanings and passion in it, not just blood and gore. That separates the Really Good writing from art.

My first Fanfic did not contain any of this, So I'd grade it a medium.

I'd like to ask you guys.

How many of you have read...

The Lord of the Flies - William Golding

Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck

Taming of the Shrew - Shakespeare

12th Night - Shakespeare

Those all contain symbolic references. Certain events or Characters are philosophical references.

For me, I think that Halo is symbolic in the way it shows how :

"It appears like a road to heaven, but it only turns out to be a road to hell - the Flood. It's like the bibile verse - "The road to hell is well paved and inviting.""

That's symbolic. But it's not philosophical.

I've seen some ones that contain philosophical meaning. Those are the best. By far.

But I would never say no to a good thriller once in a while! Robert Ludlum rocks, and so do you, 343 Salty Beans. I couldn't email you, because I got a postmaster delivery failiure. Anyhow,

Keep up the good work,

- Dave

P.S A word of "Lucky Wisdom"

"Remember - it's not the thing that counts - it's how you weild it. Language can be powerful or weak, but in its strongest form, it will move mountains." - A little thing I just scraped together 30 seconds ago.
343 Salty Beans
4:08 pm | June 23, 2004
Now that you've said that, most people aren't gonna go look, just hate your guts.

Don't be a marketeer. Stop advertising.

5:51 am | June 21, 2004
More detail..Check out my Archon series.
343 Salty Beans
3:39 am | June 21, 2004
And were you being chased by helicopters and ninjas?

Anyway, I know lot a lot of people will reply, but where did I miss code?

And to be honest, the first 3 parts of my series weren't coded. I read the guidelines, I just didn't know what they meant :).

And when I ask about fave chapter, I mean do you like an action-packed chapter, a mysterious one, one with an enormous cliffhanger? Did it need more detail? I just like to know what mistakes you think I made in my FF so I can do better.

Dave Luck
12:41 am | June 21, 2004
Well, well, well.

You, 343 Salty Beans, are a Port in a storm! If I could see you, you can bet cash I'd be asking for an autograph.

Of course, the missed coding in the first parts are okay. The Grammar made up for that. I can't believe that someone actually CARED to read the guidelines. It's as if some sort of miracle
has happened.

Do what you like. The rest will follow. Let your imagination soar.

I know mine crashed, unfortunately, right over an alien city, going at mach 5, with no parachutes, no airbrakes, and with the fuel leaking flames through the skies, being pursued by Seraph fighters. And all the fighters are on fire too.

- Dave.
10:55 pm | June 20, 2004
Take advices when you can, but you have to build your own style of writing- otherwise it just sounds really flat and contrived.

Signing Off,
CoLd BlooDed
10:24 pm | June 20, 2004
343, I have a tip... well, kind of, I don't know what to call it.

Yeah, you could ask what chapter they liked best, but don't change your writing style so other people like it. Write how YOU like it. We already know you're good, so you don't have to try and please us.

You write to please yourself. That's what makes a good writer.
343 Salty Beans
11:47 am | June 19, 2004
Its not just you, Pho. Don't worry, you'll understand in a while.

Trust me, I won't stop the series, too many people have done that to me and seriously cheesed me off.

Thanks, Nick.

To FOrerunnER, what was the best chapter? I'd like to get some feedback so I can change my writing style to your guys' liking.

9:00 pm | June 18, 2004
I certainly thought it was good. Keep up the series.
MC's Cousin
7:19 pm | June 18, 2004
I'm going with the universal: pretty good. Some of the story details were a bit confusing, but I saw it through.
And I agree with ForunnER that you should finish the series. Once you start, you can't not finish.

Signing Off

6:52 pm | June 18, 2004
is it just me, or did anyone else notice the weird way Grace keeps on being mentioned?
4:15 pm | June 18, 2004
This was a good chapter, not the best one of the series, but still good. I'd actually be very dissapointed if you didn't finish this series, as it is very good.
Nick Kang
2:58 pm | June 18, 2004
It was pretty good. Not as good as 'I am 343 Guilty Spark', but still good enough for my liking.