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Comments for 'In A City of Chaos'



SP
7:30 pm | August 12, 2003
Just a couple things, the paragraphs would be better if you put a space between them. More space equals an easier read. Secondly, if there's a way you can indicate a shift in perspective, it would help too. Either than that, excellent. Nice swift medical situation and realistic situation. *7.5/10*
monitor101
9:20 pm | August 11, 2003
Nice story Scribe! 10/10 true Koby that could happen.
Arinoth Koby
7:12 pm | August 11, 2003
Good story, 10/10, And the MC's bones could be broken if something extrememly heavy like a cruiser landed on him
wiley
1:33 pm | August 11, 2003
10/10
Alpha Lance
11:53 am | August 11, 2003
Nice going,10/10.
Anonymous
11:11 am | August 11, 2003
i'm not trying to be picky or anything but the MC's bones are unbreakable. it's really good writing though, i like it a lot.
The Scribe
1:55 am | August 11, 2003
To Anonymous: Oops! I think your right!

(Oh, Well, let's all just PRETEND that they are.)
Ahem! Ahem!
Alpha Lance
8:36 pm | August 10, 2003
Rano,its good,and like scope,can't wait for the
sequile,10/10.
scope
5:40 pm | August 10, 2003
10/10 I like it. Cant wait for a sequile.


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