halo.bungie.org

They're Random, Baby!

Fan Fiction


Comments for 'A Marine's Tale: The First Days'



pj-NYkr90
9:48 pm | July 22, 2003
thanx dude
Vege7a
7:46 pm | July 22, 2003
Hey dude this story's great, don't listen to the asswipes who tell you it isn't.
pj-NYkr90
12:59 pm | July 21, 2003
It comes, war is near. Hehehehehehehehehe
CoLD BlooDed
8:20 pm | July 20, 2003
Your story isn't that bad either, just stick to the advice that the other ppl said, and it will be perfect. If this is a series hopefully it will kick ass, just put some war or shit in it
8/10
HunterKiller
4:28 pm | July 20, 2003
It was OK 6/10
Anonymous
9:54 am | July 20, 2003
p.s itz crap
Anonymous
9:54 am | July 20, 2003
crapity crap crap crap
Agent Shade
5:04 am | July 20, 2003
what Steele said lol
Steele
10:57 pm | July 19, 2003
Grammar, grammar, grammar.

Everytime someone different speaks it's a new paragraph. Watch your tenses. You know keep them all past or present tense, don't switch up.

If you do these few things, I'm sure you'll have a pretty good story.
Agent Shade
3:21 pm | July 19, 2003
this wasn't half bad...i got really confused with all the quotes though. i'd may help readers if you make a new paragraph or just indent when someone talks, so that it's easier to ready. Not a lot of spelling, a few grammar, but it wasn't bad at all. I like this idea, keep it up 8.5/10


bungie.org
brr!